Praise then darkness, and creation unfinished

[continued]
adrian_turtle and I had lunch Saturday morning and then went into Boston, again taking the train to Park Street. We found a not-too-crowded spot a few blocks from the end of the parade route, and watched for a bit, though I couldn't see much (I’m short, and there were four or five rows of people there). Then there was a pause between floats/organized groups in the parade, so I stepped into the street and walked the last bit, while Adrian went to do volunteer work for Freedom for All Massachusetts.

The Pride Parade is a lot more establishment and capitalist than when I was marching in New York in the 1980s and ‘90s, but the cheering onlookers as we marched still had me grinning. I hadn’t planned to march and had no sign, but I was wearing my (new) t-shirt with lines of text including "Science is Real," "Black Lives Matter," "Love Is Love," and "Women’s Rights Are Human Rights."

There were what felt like too many politicians at the end of the parade route/entrance to City Hall Plaza, and Bob Massie and his people were enough in my face that I am less likely to vote for him than I was last week. (He’s one of the two Democratic candidates for governor; if he wins the primary, I will vote for him rather than Charlie Baker.)

I spent some time walking around the assorted booths at City Hall Plaza. I bought a rainbow-colored hat and skipped a lot of very commercial booths (no, I do not want my photo in a Nissan tweet, and I didn’t need fried dough). Wandering brought me back to the end of the parade route, so I sat on a wall and watched more of the parade. I'd thought the parade was close to the end when I joined it, but even after getting arriving a bit late and what I missed looking around the street fair, I saw a variety of marchers: politicians and gay sports leagues, a bank and Dunkin' Donuts and Taiwan Pride and a whole bunch of Unitarian churches each with its own sign, and more people just walking in ones and twos, like me. One person was carrying a sign with a picture of the rainbow flag and "Our flag is not your ad"; I hope he heard me saying I liked it. Then I went back into the plaza, and found more of the community/movement organizations, and eventually the official Boston Pride merchandise tent.

I now have a t-shirt with a picture of the Stonewall Inn sign and the text "Bring Back the Riot 1969 2019." Boston Pride was selling those, and "rainbow resistance" shirts--I like the sentiment there, but the graphic is ugly enough that I'm pretty sure I wouldn't wear it--along with things like tie-dyed "We the People Means Everybody" shirts. I also have a lot of new pins, in sizes from tiny to quite large—the "Rise Up, Resist, Repeat" I got at the Dyke March; a clenched fist on a rainbow-colored background; and little pins saying "Dyke March 2018," "Trans Rights Now!" "Fight the Patriarchy," "The Future is Female," and "Stop Profiling Muslims," all bought from the Dyke March people. (I gave them a couple of extra dollars, because we’d had to leave Friday night before I got a chance to donate for their expenses.) I may still order a retro/reprinted "Bisexual Pride" button to replace the one I lost a couple of months ago, but I am feeling much better equipped than I was last week.

I thought about going to the Gay Pride March today, either as a participant or to stand on Fifth Avenue and watch. I concluded that I don't really have that much energy right now, and that I don't need to do this anymore. It needs doing, but I don't need to be doing it.

I don't need it for myself: I know I'm not alone, I know this is my city, and I don't feel the need to remind myself that yes, I'm queer that was one of my motivations for marching when I was involved only with cattitude. And the march doesn't need me: it's a big thing now, lots of people, lots of groups and floats, pretty rainbow-colored subway posters telling us what trains to take to get there. We're here, we're queer, and this city is definitely used to it. The State Assembly passed same-sex marriage earlier this month--and my being there, or not, isn't going to convince the Republican boss of the State Senate to let the bill get to the floor for a vote.

I was grumpy about this earlier--more about feeling I had to stay home than about missing the parade, really--and I talked to Cattitude and adrian_turtle and felt much better. But I am visible as bi, in a lot of contexts, and I was there marching in the early 1980s when it wasn't as easy for a lot of people, and when I needed to be there, and when it probably meant more not only to me, but to the people watching us march. And maybe next year I'll have the energy, and go.

And I should think about why I'm not out at work--though I think that's more about being nervous about being out as poly, and having already mentioned cattitude (he's the partner I live with, and spend the most time with), than about passing as straight.

[This post was prompted in part by one from athenais about similar topics.]