Happy birthday, ![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
busarewski and hano!
busarewski and hano!My mum had a heart attack yesterday afternoon, followed by an angioplasty.
She was sitting up in bed and drinking coffee by 9pm last night, and seems to be fine now. They're keeping her in until Monday to make sure, but panic over.
Turns out that an angioplasty is nowadays an outpatient operation under local anaesthetic, with over 97% success rate. Modern medicine is awesome. And thank fuck for the NHS!
She was sitting up in bed and drinking coffee by 9pm last night, and seems to be fine now. They're keeping her in until Monday to make sure, but panic over.
Turns out that an angioplasty is nowadays an outpatient operation under local anaesthetic, with over 97% success rate. Modern medicine is awesome. And thank fuck for the NHS!
Since spatch's schedule blocks him from joining my birthday observed this weekend when my niece will be in town, it was important to him to take me somewhere nice on the day itself, and after some reconfiguration of plans based on parameters of pain, sleep, and sunset and some obstruction from construction and accidents on Route 2, we managed somewhere very nice indeed.
( Panoramas two-thirds sky and one-third land. )
We did not make it to the originally proposed bookstore: it was fine. We drove home down looping roads close-lined first with trees and then with malls as we made our way back from the Pioneer Valley into MetroWest. Fog drifted once across the highway from the marshes we were driving over. I looked for further meteors out the window through the least light-polluted hills and meadows, but saw mostly that I could still have read by the eighty-five-percent moon. It was a lot of time in the car and all worth it, an inland gift. It was, for everything going on in my life and outside of it, a good birthday.
spatch's schedule blocks him from joining my birthday observed this weekend when my niece will be in town, it was important to him to take me somewhere nice on the day itself, and after some reconfiguration of plans based on parameters of pain, sleep, and sunset and some obstruction from construction and accidents on Route 2, we managed somewhere very nice indeed.( Panoramas two-thirds sky and one-third land. )
We did not make it to the originally proposed bookstore: it was fine. We drove home down looping roads close-lined first with trees and then with malls as we made our way back from the Pioneer Valley into MetroWest. Fog drifted once across the highway from the marshes we were driving over. I looked for further meteors out the window through the least light-polluted hills and meadows, but saw mostly that I could still have read by the eighty-five-percent moon. It was a lot of time in the car and all worth it, an inland gift. It was, for everything going on in my life and outside of it, a good birthday.
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The YouTube Channel Parkrose Permaculture is doing a video series on Nonviolent Resistance.
With military invading our cities, I think this is very helpful knowledge to have. It comes from the information this person obtained from attending a Nonviolent Resistance Bootcamp. They live in Portland, Oregon, one of the places troops have been sent in a show of force against non-violent citizens exercising their Constitutional Rights, so they are a good source of factual information for what's really going on there, as well. They are calm, rational, hopeful and insightful and I've found their videos very helpful in putting things in perspective when I'm starting to freak out. They aren't pandering to sensationalism the way many channels do. I highly recommend all their videos.
With military invading our cities, I think this is very helpful knowledge to have. It comes from the information this person obtained from attending a Nonviolent Resistance Bootcamp. They live in Portland, Oregon, one of the places troops have been sent in a show of force against non-violent citizens exercising their Constitutional Rights, so they are a good source of factual information for what's really going on there, as well. They are calm, rational, hopeful and insightful and I've found their videos very helpful in putting things in perspective when I'm starting to freak out. They aren't pandering to sensationalism the way many channels do. I highly recommend all their videos.
I called the engineer back and they haven't heard from the contractor because "he's going through a medical procedure". This was his excuse for ghosting me back in March as well. Engineer also said they will not send me any reports - will not even say for sure that the reports exist - without going through the contractor because they work for the contractor and not for me.
So now I guess I commence hassling the contractor. In the meantime I will reach out to the city inspector and find out what my options are.
I am definitely talking to a fucking lawyer.
***
'Tis the season when restaurant work starts to ramp up, and so I have to figure out what jobs absolutely need a second person and get them done while daughter still has time. (Also we are starting to get closer into not-having-windows-open season and since daughter takes zero infection precautions that is an absolute deal-breaker for having her in the house.)
I think getting the new lights hung is number one and then I have a sideboard that needs to be partially reassembled and it's way too heavy to wrangle by myself, and then that's it.
( to-do list under cut )
There are ants in the new kitchen. There were ants in the old kitchen, so I guess I shouldn't be surprised. I keep finding them in the kitchen sink though, which is... weird.
So now I guess I commence hassling the contractor. In the meantime I will reach out to the city inspector and find out what my options are.
I am definitely talking to a fucking lawyer.
***
'Tis the season when restaurant work starts to ramp up, and so I have to figure out what jobs absolutely need a second person and get them done while daughter still has time. (Also we are starting to get closer into not-having-windows-open season and since daughter takes zero infection precautions that is an absolute deal-breaker for having her in the house.)
I think getting the new lights hung is number one and then I have a sideboard that needs to be partially reassembled and it's way too heavy to wrangle by myself, and then that's it.
( to-do list under cut )
There are ants in the new kitchen. There were ants in the old kitchen, so I guess I shouldn't be surprised. I keep finding them in the kitchen sink though, which is... weird.
Mama
There was in me
A trailing reluctance
To let go
Of what nurtured you—
Even though
It now fed
Neither you
Nor me.
But—
When you tucked your head
Against my chest
To cling again,
I don't think
You even
Noticed
It was gone.
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DEAR ABBY: My brother "Joey" married a woman, "Allie," who is mentally unstable. Every couple of months, she loses her temper at me or one of my family members. It's extremely disruptive and upsetting. She has been diagnosed with type 1 bipolar disorder as well as borderline personality disorder. Joey recognizes her behavior is inappropriate but can't seem to control her.
We usually ignore her and let some time pass until she calms down, but sometimes it's hard to turn the other cheek when she yells and makes personal attacks toward us. The most recent blow-up occurred while they were visiting my parents' home. Allie is pregnant with their first baby, and the day after the visit, Allie called my mom yelling at her that their house is "toxic" due to clutter and dust. She said being in their home is "harming their unborn baby." My parents' house is NOT a health hazard. Yes, there is some clutter, but they've raised five kids in that house and have lived there for almost 40 years.
Is there any way we can have a meaningful relationship with Joey and Allie? I'm worried they're never going to let us see their baby. -- TIPTOEING IN CALIFORNIA
( Read more... )
We usually ignore her and let some time pass until she calms down, but sometimes it's hard to turn the other cheek when she yells and makes personal attacks toward us. The most recent blow-up occurred while they were visiting my parents' home. Allie is pregnant with their first baby, and the day after the visit, Allie called my mom yelling at her that their house is "toxic" due to clutter and dust. She said being in their home is "harming their unborn baby." My parents' house is NOT a health hazard. Yes, there is some clutter, but they've raised five kids in that house and have lived there for almost 40 years.
Is there any way we can have a meaningful relationship with Joey and Allie? I'm worried they're never going to let us see their baby. -- TIPTOEING IN CALIFORNIA
( Read more... )
(cosmolinguist Oct. 9th, 2025 10:46 pm)
cosmolinguist Oct. 9th, 2025 10:46 pm)I had a long day, full of meetings and people talking too much. The last was a focus group that went on too long because of one person talking too much and not following the very specifically stated brief: I said we're here to give recommendations to decision-makers and service providers, and this guy did what he always does which is "here's how I get around that by being Resilient and taking individual responsibility for this systemic problem! Cool story, bro.
After a day like that, with an ending like that, it was very sweet to get a message from my favorite person on my favorite team (mine). Our manager has asked her to work with me on the latest report, so this morning I asked if we could arrange a meeting and it'll be tomorrow morning. So at the very end of the day today, she sends me this:
Hi, this is just a message to tell you that I have reread [the last report, 2 of 3]. I now have an overwhelming urge to tell you that you are such a smart cookie. The report is brilliant and incredibly comprehensive. I'm quite intimidated in supporting you with [report 3 of 3]. Anyway this is me belatedly telling you that you are an awesome [our job title] and maybe you could eat a celebratory chocolate biscuit and pat yourself on the back.
A few sentences like that go a long way!
You know the way I just said -- I just said -- that I had worked out how to make wagamama's current menu yield something I was actively enthusiastic about eating?
WELL GUESS WHAT. THIRD TIME UNLUCKY.
I had really not expected the pad thai to vanish in a menu overhaul, okay, what on EARTH.
(So we came home and ate butternut squash & quince stew instead, and maybe by the next time it is Ritual Wagamama O'Clock I'll have resigned myself to eating something that isn't The Thing I Just Worked Out.)
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First, when I was pulling up my panties my thumbnail got stuck somehow on the cotton and ended up half ripped off - ouch! - in what is both the dumbest and most painful injury ever. Then the next day I managed to slip on some clothing on the floor and fall flat down on my face. Fortunately, I landed on my laundry, but still, I can take a hint. My own laundry wants me dead.
(I mentioned this to Jenn and she suggested that if I was wearing my panties they weren't laundry but simply clothing, but this obviously arrant nonsense. They weren't on my body yet, they were just halfway up my thighs, so they were still at least liminally laundry, caught in that weird spot of paradox in between Schrodinger's cat and Xeno's arrow. Also, the salient feature is that they were trying to kill me, not what arbitrary category they fall into while they do so!)
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( Read more... )
(I mentioned this to Jenn and she suggested that if I was wearing my panties they weren't laundry but simply clothing, but this obviously arrant nonsense. They weren't on my body yet, they were just halfway up my thighs, so they were still at least liminally laundry, caught in that weird spot of paradox in between Schrodinger's cat and Xeno's arrow. Also, the salient feature is that they were trying to kill me, not what arbitrary category they fall into while they do so!)
( Read more... )
I have a 26-year-old daughter who from a very early age studied dance. For a while, we thought she might pursue it professionally, but by the time she was applying for colleges it was clear that she had decided not to. Once she made that decision, she stopped taking dance classes. We were disappointed — she was a beautiful dancer — but we were supportive of her choice. She found a major she loved and is doing very well. We couldn’t be happier about that. I’ve noticed, however, that since she stopped dancing she has steadily gained weight. Lately, every time her dad and I see her, she has put on more weight.
We want to have a conversation with her about it, but we’re concerned that she will think that we’re body-shaming her. She can get defensive about things. I am particularly concerned about the things she loves to eat. She gravitates toward sugar and fatty foods, and isn’t very active. We have lots of diabetes on both sides of our family, and I’ve subtly tried to mention this family risk. I don’t think she has taken this in, however. She may be headed for a serious weight problem. How can we raise this with her without making her feel self-conscious or judged, and without pushing her away from us? We love and respect her and want to see her live a healthy life. Please advise! — Name Withheld
( Read more... )
We want to have a conversation with her about it, but we’re concerned that she will think that we’re body-shaming her. She can get defensive about things. I am particularly concerned about the things she loves to eat. She gravitates toward sugar and fatty foods, and isn’t very active. We have lots of diabetes on both sides of our family, and I’ve subtly tried to mention this family risk. I don’t think she has taken this in, however. She may be headed for a serious weight problem. How can we raise this with her without making her feel self-conscious or judged, and without pushing her away from us? We love and respect her and want to see her live a healthy life. Please advise! — Name Withheld
( Read more... )
Some time ago I wrote of my delighted discovery of Taylor Swift's Tiny Desk Concert, in which she played her songs in simple arrangements I found agreeable, unlike the overproductions of the Eras Tour which was Not For Me.
A few commenters gave suggestions of other TAS numbers I might find agreeable, but they didn't mention what turned out to be the gold mine. DGK sent me links to a couple videos extracted from a documentary film called folklore: the long pond studio sessions, which is on Disney+. The songs are a bit much of a sameness for me to want to listen to all at once, especially with the documentary natter in between, and the songs are more immediately impressive than they are lovable, though the ones I heard first are growing on me rapidly - but only in these versions; I listened to other performances and, nah. Any one or two of them - not just those two - are in this version very much the kind of popular music I want to hear.
Apart from the addition of a guest vocalist on one song, it's just her and two guys, variously on piano and acoustic guitar, occasionally a little light percussion or a soft electric guitar which only once threatens to get even slightly loud. Very soft and gentle and intimate, and quite sophisticated and complex songwriting.
Here's the two songs DGK sent me. The rest can also be found on YouTube with a "long pond studio sessions" search.
A few commenters gave suggestions of other TAS numbers I might find agreeable, but they didn't mention what turned out to be the gold mine. DGK sent me links to a couple videos extracted from a documentary film called folklore: the long pond studio sessions, which is on Disney+. The songs are a bit much of a sameness for me to want to listen to all at once, especially with the documentary natter in between, and the songs are more immediately impressive than they are lovable, though the ones I heard first are growing on me rapidly - but only in these versions; I listened to other performances and, nah. Any one or two of them - not just those two - are in this version very much the kind of popular music I want to hear.
Apart from the addition of a guest vocalist on one song, it's just her and two guys, variously on piano and acoustic guitar, occasionally a little light percussion or a soft electric guitar which only once threatens to get even slightly loud. Very soft and gentle and intimate, and quite sophisticated and complex songwriting.
Here's the two songs DGK sent me. The rest can also be found on YouTube with a "long pond studio sessions" search.
I'm not in deadline danger, but I'm also still not where I'd like to be with my current rewrite; I've also been sleeping badly and Dayjob has needed somewhat more brain energy than usual (for a non-crunch time) this week. So I'm taking tomorrow off to go with the Thanksgiving long weekend, and we'll see what can be done. Wish me luck!
Flu and covid vaccinations are rolling out provincially (just announced this morning), and hopefully we can get ours scheduled for fairly soon. (Which isn't actually urgent, given how little exposure risk we have, but I'd still like to get it done.)
Part of my brain seems to really think there can never be too many mugs or too many blankets. I'm not sure how it came to this conclusion, when storage space (perhaps especially kitchen cupboard space) is finite and while both mugs and blankets can be used in rotation, it can get excessive fast. I wonder if this is the same part of my mind that believes I can actually follow everyone who strikes me as interesting on any social media platform.
Last year during post-holiday sales I bought a Hallowe'en blanket that then spent nearly a year waiting for the season to come around again, and now I have it out as a lap blanket in my office. It is extremely warm and ridiculously soft and cozy on one side, which is great, except this week started out with, frex, a high of 29°C or so on Monday. At this point the temperature's much more reasonable for fall (high of 9°C today), even if it's warming right back up to highs of 16°-ish over the next few days. Not exactly classic October temps, but hopefully we'll be free of full-on summer heat after this.
Other parts of the province got some actual significant rain last night, which is a relief. Only 2mm or so in my area, but I'm glad a good amount wound up in the regions that desperately need it this time.
Tori has a new album coming out next year (with accompanying tour), with info on the front page of her site. (My feelings are the now-usual ones: I don't expect to fall in love with the new music, but I'll gladly buy it to support her and be ready to be wrong about the assumption; either way I'm so glad that she's still making music, even if it's been a long time since any of it punched me in the heart.)
Flu and covid vaccinations are rolling out provincially (just announced this morning), and hopefully we can get ours scheduled for fairly soon. (Which isn't actually urgent, given how little exposure risk we have, but I'd still like to get it done.)
Part of my brain seems to really think there can never be too many mugs or too many blankets. I'm not sure how it came to this conclusion, when storage space (perhaps especially kitchen cupboard space) is finite and while both mugs and blankets can be used in rotation, it can get excessive fast. I wonder if this is the same part of my mind that believes I can actually follow everyone who strikes me as interesting on any social media platform.
Last year during post-holiday sales I bought a Hallowe'en blanket that then spent nearly a year waiting for the season to come around again, and now I have it out as a lap blanket in my office. It is extremely warm and ridiculously soft and cozy on one side, which is great, except this week started out with, frex, a high of 29°C or so on Monday. At this point the temperature's much more reasonable for fall (high of 9°C today), even if it's warming right back up to highs of 16°-ish over the next few days. Not exactly classic October temps, but hopefully we'll be free of full-on summer heat after this.
Other parts of the province got some actual significant rain last night, which is a relief. Only 2mm or so in my area, but I'm glad a good amount wound up in the regions that desperately need it this time.
Tori has a new album coming out next year (with accompanying tour), with info on the front page of her site. (My feelings are the now-usual ones: I don't expect to fall in love with the new music, but I'll gladly buy it to support her and be ready to be wrong about the assumption; either way I'm so glad that she's still making music, even if it's been a long time since any of it punched me in the heart.)
Today's home improvement progress: everything from the left half of the attic to the right, save for some things left from the previous owner, which we took to the local dump/recycling station.
Keldor cut some of the lumber to go between the existing uprights that we will staple the vindpapp to before we add the insulation.
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strange_maps_feed Oct. 9th, 2025 05:06 pm)
strange_maps_feed Oct. 9th, 2025 05:06 pm)
If the U.S. were only 100 people, this is what they’d believe: 63 are Christian, 30 are religiously unaffiliated, and 7 have a non-Christian faith.
This graph maps those differences out into more specific categories, bringing blink-of-an-eye clarity to a complex topic. But it does not show changes over time. And those changes add critical context.
If Americans were 100 people, 63 would be Christian, 30 would be “nones”, and 7 would be adherents of non-Christian religions. (Credit: Ryan Burge on X)
The graph is based on the third of Pew Research Center’s Religious Landscape Studies. Taken together, they reveal a dramatic drop in the number of Americans self-identifying as Christian: from 78% in 2007, 71% in 2014, and down to 63% in its latest survey (2023-24).
That last figure, however, seems to be holding steady since 2019. In other words, the decline of Christianity in America appears to have stabilized. Here’s a closer look at the losses since 2007:
- Protestants made up half of the American population in 2007 — if only just 51%. By 2023-24, that share had declined to 40%.
- Among Protestants, the greatest decline was witnessed by Mainline Protestants (i.e. generally more progressive), which shrank from 18% to 11%.
- There were smaller setbacks for Evangelical Protestants (typically more conservative), which went from 26% to 23%, and for Black Protestant churches (7% to 5%).
- The Catholics shared in the decline, retreating from almost a quarter (24%) to less than a fifth (19%) of the overall population.
- Smaller denominations did better: the Latter-day Saints (i.e. Mormons) kept their 2%, and the Orthodox Christians (part of the “other Christians”) stuck to 1%.
Altogether, in just a decade and a half, Christian denominations lost about 15% of the total population. Where did those formerly faithful go? Mostly not to other faiths, the numbers show, but rather to various categories of religious unaffiliation.
- The ranks of these “Nones” (an umbrella term for atheists, agnostics, and “don’t-knows”) have swelled from 16% in 2007 to 23% in 2014 and 29% in the latest survey, an all-time high representing a cohort larger than all American evangelicals.
- The greatest increase in absolute numbers was in those who don’t believe in anything in particular (12% in 2007, 19% in 2023-24).
- However, there was greater relative increase in the numbers of both atheists, which more than doubled (2% to 5%), and agnostics, who saw their share triple (2% to 6%).
Add up the Christians and the unaffiliated (mainly former Christians), and you’ve still got more than nine out of ten Americans. That is to say: the share of non-Christian religions, although growing fast, remains small overall. In 2007, 4.7% of U.S. adults identified with a religion other than Christianity. In 2023-24, that has gone up to 7.1%.
- Over the three surveys, the share of Jewish Americans has remained steady (1.7%), with slight increases in the share of Buddhists (0.7% in 2007 to 1.1% in 2023-24) and Hindus (0.4% to 0.9%).
- Muslims are the fastest-growing non-Christian group, tripling over 15 years (0.4% in 2007 to 1.2% in 2023-24).
When Pew publishes its next Religious Landscape Study, around 2030-31, what will this graph look like?
Anecdotal reports in the media seem to indicate a resurgence of interest in religion among younger generations, notably in the Catholic church — perhaps helped by the recent inauguration of its first American-born Pope. But it should be noted that people abandoning religion usually do so less vocally than those joining up. And, as the Pew study shows, the latter clearly outnumber the former, at least in recent years.
Perhaps that will change. God, or the Universe, works in mysterious ways.
For (a lot) more great graphs on religion in America, check out Ryan Burge’s feed on X.
Strange Maps #1280
Got a strange map? Let me know at strangemaps@gmail.com.
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This article Mapped: If America were 100 people, this is what they’d believe is featured on Big Think.
The new hate crime figures are out, apparently disability hate crime is slightly down. Am I being cynical in assuming that's probably because some of the haters are too busy committing hate crimes against muslims and/or jews and/or anyone who doesn't look like them?
Trans hate crime is also slightly down, but I'd presume that would be people feeling even less safe to report it, rather than an actual reduction.
The figures exclude the Met, the biggest force in the country because they're busy adopting a new crime reporting tool - so give us their figures as a separate entry, don't just exclude them entirely. *headdesk*
Somewhat embarrassingly for the police/Home Office, the Office for Statistics Regulation is still insisting they include a caveat to say their data is actually pretty crap.
What comes through when considering that the figures cover the period of the Stockport-related race riots is that the figures, even if recorded as intended, are utterly incapable of recording mass events like riots. If 300 people are chanting racist slogans and throwing bricks, but the police only arrest 3 of them, then only 3 crimes would be reported. It's definitely working as intended, but is working as intended what they actually intended?
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It is my birthday. I am forty-four years old, the age some fictional character must be. I woke to a pair of packages, one from nineweaving that proved to be Vaughn Scribner's Merpeople: A Human History (2020) and from my parents which was a DVD of The Sea Wolf (1941). Hestia was a small black round of purr like an extra present at the foot of the bed. It is bright and brisk and cloudless as all the classical autumns outside.
nineweaving that proved to be Vaughn Scribner's Merpeople: A Human History (2020) and from my parents which was a DVD of The Sea Wolf (1941). Hestia was a small black round of purr like an extra present at the foot of the bed. It is bright and brisk and cloudless as all the classical autumns outside.I see estimates differ: I was working from the Sturgeon's Law that '90% of anything is crap' -
- whereas Ridley Scott is prepared to claim that '60% of films made today are “shit”, and of the remaining 40%, “25% … is not bad, and 10% is pretty good, and the top 5% is great”. and that this is pretty much so for the history of the movies over time (a fairly nuanced judgement I suppose) (though we should probably factor in the extent to which film, especially from the nitrate era, was a very frangible medium and there is a survival issue....)
From the Wikipedia article on Sturgeon's Law, some confirming opinions by other thinkerz:
'Nine-tenths of existing books are nonsense, and the clever books are the refutation of that nonsense' (Disraeli, 1870)
'Four-fifths of everybody's work must be bad. But the remnant is worth the trouble for its own sake. (Kipling, 1890)
'In much more than nine cases out of ten the only objectively truthful criticism would be "This book is worthless...'(Wot a grump George Orwell was, eh, 1946)
A 2009 paper in The Lancet estimated that over 85% of health and medical research is wasted.
(The trouble is you cannot tell in advance what is going to be, can you.)
On reflection I rather like Scott's 'not bad - pretty good - great' because one can, in fact, get enjoyment out of those levels.
Not Down the Rabbit Hole. Just On the Edge
I mentioned in my last post that I have been enjoying solo work by RM (his full Korean name is Kim Nam-Joon) leader of the Korean pop group BTS (yes, I still refuse to call male or female KPop idols boy or girl bands. Hell, RM is 30, FFS.) I'm really happy with RM's EP called "Mono," which was released in 2018, when he was 24. It's intensely personal, done in a mix of Korean and English. (Some songs use more English than others.) The tracks are generally lo-fi, and I find them both soothing and interesting.
This track, "Tokyo," starts the album, and it hits all my positive buttons. Another song, "Seoul," is a favorite of mine, but this one is fast becoming the favorite.
I hope you enjoy it.
I mentioned in my last post that I have been enjoying solo work by RM (his full Korean name is Kim Nam-Joon) leader of the Korean pop group BTS (yes, I still refuse to call male or female KPop idols boy or girl bands. Hell, RM is 30, FFS.) I'm really happy with RM's EP called "Mono," which was released in 2018, when he was 24. It's intensely personal, done in a mix of Korean and English. (Some songs use more English than others.) The tracks are generally lo-fi, and I find them both soothing and interesting.
This track, "Tokyo," starts the album, and it hits all my positive buttons. Another song, "Seoul," is a favorite of mine, but this one is fast becoming the favorite.
I hope you enjoy it.
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