Relationships and how they're developing

[redbird]

In response to something mactavish posted, I wrote

I don't have veto power with any of my partners--but if any of them said "I don't think that's a good idea" I'd ask why, and take it seriously. And I'd give them similar information, if I had it about someone that one of my partners were interested in: that's part of caring for each other.

Nothing odd in that--except that I started to write "cattitude or Q" and realized that at this point, the same consideration would apply to adrian_turtle. This is part of why I don't label my relationships as primary or secondary: they are what they are, and they change.

I am a very fortunate Vicki.

Comments

[shikzoid.livejournal.com]

When I read this I can hear the wonder and delight in your voice. It warms the cockles of my heart.

What I find wonderful about your relationship dynamics is that people feel comfortable saying "I don't think that's a good idea". Many years ago I was in a relationship where I wasn't allowed to say things like that. I have since come to the conclusion that this is where all that Passive-Agressive behavior came from. I'm much better now.

Janice

[redbird]

It may also be worth noting, however, that this is in the subjunctive: I checked in with Andy before getting involved with Q, and then adrian_turtle, and with Q before Adrian and I got involved, and in each case it was fine all around. But I have yet to be interested in someone and have him/them suggest that it would be a bad idea.

I'm not sure if this is indicative more of how seldom I'm interested in someone who is also interested in me, or of my partners and I having similar enough views that the only likely "I think that would be a bad idea" would be someone I had just met who one of them already knew and had reason to be wary of.