Praise then darkness, and creation unfinished

I decided recently that I wanted to be measured for a bra, mostly because I haven't been in a couple of years and body shapes do change. The Macy's web page told me mainly that it doesn't play well with Firefox; Nordstrom's explicitly said they provide this service. OK, Nordstrom's it is. (They're about a block from each other within the same mall in Bellevue.)

( a bit about body shape, but mostly about clothing sizes and my trouble finding clothes )

I went shopping with a coworker after work today. This came about almost by accident.

Last week, I was complaining about my difficulty finding pants that fit, after I told her that the problem wasn't that my body shape had changed and I had to buy new clothes, it was that I needed new pants and hadn't been able to find them, which was (a large part of) why I was getting "men's" pants from a catalog. She said it shouldn't be that difficult, and I asked where she would suggest I shop, then.

I was mostly thinking that this would get me sympathy/agreement that okay, maybe it is difficult. What it got was "Macy's" and a conversation that ended with us agreeing that since neither of us actually likes shopping for clothes, mutual support might also be good. Mostly, my goal was to take advantage of her offer of recent expertise, specifically knowing her way around there and having some ideas of what parts of the store/store brands would be likely to fit me.

The plan was that we'd look for pants for me, and maybe her, and then for a dress for her. (In the end, we revised that slightly, by stopping in at Lane Bryant briefly so she could figure out whether there was anything she wanted to try on after work tomorrow.

She asked me what size I wore, I told her, and she said this seemed unlikely. I don't think her saying that she didn't think I was that big was meant as flattery (I'm thinner than she is); more to the point, apparently, at least in Macy's sizes, she was correct. Either the catalogs I have been looking at use a smaller size 18 than Macy's does; things have been shrinking more than I realized in the dryer; or my waist is smaller than I thought. Possibly some combination. I now have three essentially identical pairs of pants, two black and one dark blue, in a "14 short." The same brand and style in a "14 petite" were both too large in the waist and too short in the rise (the latter is my usual problem with petities). The plan now is to wear one of them a time or three, and then launder it. If it shrinks significantly in the wash, I will return the other two; if not, I will have an idea of a place to look in the future.

These don't solve the problem of needing warm pants, because the fabric is a bit thin for that, but they are pants, they have pockets, and this is promising.

Not being sure of my pants size isn't as weird as not being sure how tall I am (because I'm standing differently), but it seems to be more of the same, in some sense. Less so in some ways—height is measured in inches or centimeters, which are well-defined units, rather than in "14" or "18W" or "L"—but it's all weird. However, I am reasonably confident that the shoes I just ordered will fit; they are the same size and model as the pair I'm currently wearing, and which is wearing out.

Even a successful expedition can be draining; I spent about two hours on my feet, though I didn't realize it until we were done and leaving the store. A much less stressful two hours than many such expeditions; mutual support is useful.

Also, I understand, somewhat, why a company might make their size 14 larger, so as to sell to women who want to think of themselves as thinner. I don't understand why the same model from the 14 petite was bigger around the waist than the 14. Haven't they figured out that if people can't find a product, they won't buy it?

P.S. She liked my tattoos.

ETA: I also ordered some gloves online, which arrived today. Two pairs, both medium. One fits well, the other is significantly too small. This is rather less irritating, as they aren't the same style, brand, or material.

I was filling her in, since it had been a while since I'd seen her, and mentioned that I'd lost some weight after the surgery, and not worried because I knew why, and she said "it's a good weight." 163 pounds (about 75 kg, or 11.5 stone if you think in those terms), at 5'3". Not praise for the change, much less anything critical: "It's a good weight."

More saved comments: ( critics and criticism, reasons for coming out, body image, chai, names, how long nations last )

More saved LJ comments: ( feminism, communication, attitudes to one's body, 'long war', aesthetics, well orderings, gender )

though it may take a while:

I happened to notice my reflection at work today, and thought "looking good." It still surprises me to think that in just ordinary going-about-my-day contexts (not being admired by my beloveds, nor yet being strong and visibly tattooed at the gym).

As a side benefit of pet-sitting for porcinea, I found and read two Amanda Cross books I hadn't realized existed. (The other is a short story collection.) Honest Doubt is her first novel with a detective other than Kate Fansler (though Kate is a character in this one), and her first novel told in first-person rather than tight third.

It also has footnotes. Not weird or silly footnotes a la Nabokov (I'm told) or Pratchett: actual academic-style footnotes, to books and stories the characters refer to. I had a lot of fun reading it: it flows well, and the viewpoint character is good company. Then I got to the end, wandered off, and started scribbling notes.

( here there be spoilers )