I think this is maturity, or something in view of it

[redbird]

I'm annoyed at someone over on statements for making what struck me as a thoughtless remark, and when I called him on it, saying something along the lines of "I don't care if you think I meant that even nastier than it reads" rather than clarifying what he actually meant. (I'm assuming for the moment that his original intent wasn't hurtful.)

I briefly found myself thinking of posting something along the lines of "I hope something makes you understand how that felt." But I don't. I can't even wish I was still in a mindset where I wanted him to think that. Because it would do me no good, and probably neither teach him anything emotionally useful nor get him to stop making that sort of casually hurtful remark; and because I rather like being who I am, and while anger has its places and its uses, I have quite enough anger already.

Comments

[kiya]

This is the sort of thing that makes me quote Heinlein's, "It's amazing how much mature wisdom resembles being too tired."

[minnehaha.livejournal.com]

Nice.

B

[cakmpls.livejournal.com]

Well, that would explain why in recent years a person here and there has referred to my wisdom . . .

[callunav.livejournal.com]

Oh, now, see, this won't do. I quite dislike Heinlein's work, but that's a marvelous quote.

[juliansinger.livejournal.com]

I was thinking of that one, too.

I can't tell you how many times my life has been made less complicated by my just not responding to people I don't directly need to respond to.

(I mean, sure, there are still discussions I think are important. It's just... pick and choose your battles.)

[callunav.livejournal.com]

The way I see it, the time, attention, thought, analysis, and work you put into composing a response to someone is a gift. There's no point in giving it to someone who you are quite sure will not appreciate it.

Anger, too, is a gift.

[minnehaha.livejournal.com]

Sometimes disengaging is the smartest thing to do.

B

[dichroic.livejournal.com]

I like what T.H. White said better - something about acquiring the seventh sense, the sense of balance, in middle age. (He was speaking of Guinevere, somehere in the middle of The Once and Future King.)