Update: the current consensus appears to be "habent papem." Can anyone confirm that? (I got a C in my one semester of Latin, and cattitude isn't home to ask.)
Sigh. You may habent him, but we definitely habemus, wether we like it or not. For example, we've got this referendum coming... But come to think of it, when Italians hear somebody order them around with a German accent they tend to want to do the opposite.
Well, this is New York, so yes, a lot of my neighbors are Catholic, but a lot more aren't, and even the Catholics may not have much interest in Rome, unless it orders Cardinal Egan to re-open the parochial schools he's closing for lack of funding.
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Interesting point about the German accent.