Terminology and self-image

[redbird]

Posting for my own reference, and because I suspect it Means Something:

It took me years, but now, if someone tells me I'm beautiful or gorgeous, I can usually smile and say "Thank you." My loves have told me often enough, and I believe them and trust their eyes.

When someone told me last week that I was "pretty", my immediate reaction was "I don't have to be pretty, I'm beautiful." A confident denial, but a denial. She was complimenting me, and meant it sincerely. But my definition of pretty seems to be narrower and/or more conventional than my image of beauty: a concept of pretty as what magazines, diet ads, and cosmetic companies sell.

ETA: Clarification: Adrian, this doesn't mean I doubt you or your sincerity. It means I was surprised, and am thinking a bit about why. *hug*

Comments

[brithistorian.livejournal.com]

Hmmmm. I have exactly the opposite idea of those two words. In my mind, "beautiful" can be faked, with make-up, plastic surgery, etc., whereas "pretty" is an inherent, natural quality and cannot be faked.
To use my standard illustration of the difference: On Gilligan's Island, Ginger was beautiful but Mary Anne was pretty.

Re: Terminology and self-image

[pir-anha.livejournal.com]

datapointing for redbird: yup, same for me.

beyond that, "pretty" to me is a girly word when applied to humans; i can't imagine saying it to a man, unless he is crossdressing and going for that look, that soft, curly, pink, angora sweater and poodle skirt wearing look.

Re: Terminology and self-image

[redbird]

Interesting. While I probably use the word more commonly for cats than for any human, I have used it for at least one decidedly non-girly human. He seemed surprised, but I don't think it was because the term struck him as inappropriately feminine.

Re: Terminology and self-image

[pir-anha.livejournal.com]

when not applied to humans, it doesn't feel girly to me either.

how weird. :)

[micheinnz.livejournal.com]

I tend to think of "pretty" as involving a type of femininity which I don't possess. Don't ask me what I mean by that; I don't think I can put it into words. All I know is that I don't think of myself as pretty, but that's not necessarily a bad thing.

[jbsegal.livejournal.com]

http://www.livejournal.com/users/jbsegal/110799.html - A night for thoughts on attraction and (more or less) compliments, it seems.