redbird | Some Wiscon notes

I can't tell you much about Wiscon, beyond "what I did in Madison this weekend," because I went to almost no programming that I wasn't part of: half a panel, and part of Eleanor Arnason's reading. (I was on two panels, and I'm counting the GoH speeches and Tiptree Award ceremony as one event.)

This is at least partly because I was feeling oddly detached and wistful--missing not only

cattitude but people who I wouldn't have seen that weekend anyhow--for much of the weekend. I overcame that in part by an act of will, aided by

maryread's calligraphy: Friday afternoon at the Gathering [1] she was writing words on people's bodies. After a few minutes' thought, I asked her to write "Gathering" on me, thinking of it as gathering/hunting rather than as people getting together (or maybe a bit of both). Sunday morning, dithering about whether I wanted an

elisem bracelet, I realized that I had the word gathering on my arm, but had spent the weekend finding reasons not to take things. So I spent my jewelry credit (barter for Lush soap and bubble bath) and some cash, and wore the bracelet for the rest of the day. In doing so, I discovered that although it's been a few years since I wore one, my subconscious firmly believes that that sort of weight on my left wrist must be a watch. No matter how often I looked, it remained a quarter to pearl. (I also wore it home, because I had no safe way to pack it.)

The Tiptree ceremony did a lot more to lift my mood. I'd more-or-less forgotten that, as part of the ceremony, the judges are recognized and thanked for their hard work. (Had I remembered, I might not have changed into shorts beforehand--which would have been just as well, because the ballroom was a lot cooler than the party floor.) Even if I'd remembered, I doubt I would have expected just how good it would feel to get that thank-you, and applause from a roomful of people, a mix of good friends, acquaintances, and strangers. (Actual attendance this year was about 760.) Internal validation may be necessary in the long term, but external is good too. I knew I'd done a valuable thing by being a Tiptree judge, but it was good being reminded that lots of other people also know. I suspect, though, that if I hadn't already lifted my mood, even the applause and the Tiptree Award pin wouldn't have kept me up for long. As was, I was accused of being unreasonably cheerful in the con suite Monday morning.

Good dinner Saturday night with

rdkeir (aka Egon) and his partner Lucy (WINOLJ), because she and I had been talking in the con suite and bratwurst led to Himalayan food and more good conversation. Egon and I had a long talk in the con suite the following night, about communication and communication styles and relationships and assorted other things. He complimented me for asking, straightforwardly, for things; I noted that the things in question were fairly small. The first was that, having said that I wanted to keep our Saturday dinner group small, when we ran into five people he knew on our way out [2] I reminded him that I didn't want more than six, and it remained a threesome; the other thing was suggesting that he and I go sit down to talk instead of continuing to stand near the doorway of the LJ party. I do agree that asking for things you want is important; even well-intentioned friends and family won't always guess right. But "let's sit down" doesn't seem noteworthy; some of this may be the difference between what he described as a particular style of midwestern desire not to be seen as pushy and my New York upbringing. Egon also said that I don't write much about

cattitude, which surprised me. What I think it is, is that I'll discuss what we do, or what Cattitude says, but I no more stop to describe him than a fish needs to tell other fish what water is like, even if it's observing currents or temperatures or air bubbles.

Elise's haiku earring party was fun, as usual. I helped her with set-up, and kept an eye on the snacks while I was there. (I wandered in and out all evening.) I also played model: she has made a few mock-ups of the laminated cards that will make up the haiku earring chapbook, select-your-own and wear them on a cord. One of those was my haiku from last year, which she gave me while we were setting up for the party; after the card and cord got tangled with my badge and its cord, I tied it to a belt loop. By sheer good luck, I was wearing that pair of earrings ("Comfortable Vices"). I find that I like the haiku more after seeing it printed up neatly on lavender paper. Elise keeps telling people that the earring haiku don't have to be good, but that's her rule, not mine.

There were quite a few people I didn't get to spend as much time with as I'd hoped, including

brisingamen (I sort of assumed we'd be talking in the mornings at Michelangelo's, as usual, but she and

peake spent breakfasts catching up on reading relevant to panels they were on) and

wild_irises (though I expected that, because so many people want her time at Wiscon).

I'm very pleased with how much time I spent with

truepenny, including a very pleasant dinner Sunday with her and

matocioquala: they talked about writing in a way, and on levels, that I found interesting, enough so that I told Matocioquala not to apologize for talking about her work. After dinner, we walked over to the Memorial Union for ice cream: orange custard chocolate chip, every bit as good as I remembered from last year, again eaten on the terrace though it was cool and overcast this year. Ice cream at the Union is sufficient reason not to buy a dessert ticket (and not just because it's a fifth the price).

Although Set This House in Order was not my first choice for the Tiptree Award, during Matt Ruff's speech, when he said that at the Nebula ceremony this year, several people told him that they were going to read the book because it had won the Tiptree, I thought "We've done our job." The reason for the award, after all, is to draw attention to gender-bending sf and fantasy. (I may do a separate post about the award, panel thereon, and related matters. Or not.) John Kessel, one of last year's winners, was also at the con: he wore the tiara much of the weekend, and at the ceremony, his ten-year-old daughter Em~~ily~~ma solemnly removed it from his head and put it on Matt Ruff's.

I'm still extremely fuzzy: staying up until 3 with Egon and

bibliofile and

ala_too and other people would probably have been okay by itself, but I slept badly (waking repeatedly) the previous two nights, and the weather in Chicago yesterday was such that instead of landing at LaGuardia at 5:30 p.m., I landed at 10:30. I suspect I'll be behind on both sleep and communication with anyone except Cattitude and my co-workers for at least another day or two.

Probably the oddest, for me, thing I did all weekend--something that has much stronger "I don't do that" than wearing bracelets--was flirting with

lcohen. This started when she commented that she'd gotten a soft new blouse from Ellen and Delia at the Gathering (they set up with lots of interesting used garments and find people to match them to; last year, I got a long tunic/flowing dress in shades of blue and purple), and I stroked it, and thus her arm. I also (then and later on in the con) played with her hair, and similar things; I would normally class this as friendly cuddling, but the conversation felt more like flirting. I don't usually flirt, for two reasons: one is that it's the wrong kind of ambiguity for me, the other that I don't really know how. In this case, I was reasonably sure that if Lisa wanted to do more than let me play with her hair, she'd tell me, so I didn't mind the ambiguity. And since I wasn't trying to flirt--I didn't, in fact, label it as such until afterwards, when Wild_Irises said she'd been flirting with someone--it didn't matter that I don't know how.

polyfrog and I are fine roommates; in addition to the basic compatibilities I sorted out up front, it turns out that we share a preference for a cool room to sleep in. The potential third roommate, Angeli (who may be on LJ, for all I know--she's a friend of a friend of Polyfrog's), neither turned up nor emailed either of us. *grumble*

Having not met

alexanderjasper in three months here in Manhattan, I finally saw him--and saw

porcinea for the first time since before he was born--on Saturday.

[There's no particular reason for the organization of the above thoughts, nor are they complete.]

[1] An odd combination of fair and socializing
[2] I try to avoid dinner parties larger than six, though a seven worked reasonably well Friday night.

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Date: 2004-06-01 07:47 pm (UTC)

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