Thoughts on how I communicate

[redbird]

I've noticed that if I ask cattitude to repeat something, he will do so word-for-word, whereas if I'm asked "What?" I tend to assume that the problem was with the syntax or word choice, rather than on the auditory level, and will rephrase for attempted clarity. That's a good technique when I've gotten tangled in baroque sentence structures--there are things that work in writing but can be hard to follow when spoken--or left out pronoun references or other assumptions. It's counterproductive when the problem is that only some of the words have been heard. If you notice me doing this (not that we get to spend enough time together offline), please remind me that when you say "What?" you mean "Please repeat those words" rather than "Please rephrase that."

[This started as part of a response to tamiam, in a comment thread on elisem's journal. I'm repeating it here because other hearing-impaired people who talk to me may find the information useful, and maybe some people, whether or not they fit in that category, may find it interesting. And as a reminder to myself.]

Comments

[liv]

I recognize this dilemma exactly; my mother, who is deaf, always wants things repeating word for word (which can be difficult with a long, not necessarily well planned, sentence); most, but not all, other people, especially non-native English speakers, want a paraphrase. I've been switching between the two modes all my life, and I still muddle them up sometimes. And getting the wrong one is almost always perceived as patronizing.

Plus, the accurate repetition requirement has left me with the rather odd ability to repeat large chunks of conversation verbatim when someone asks 'What were we talking about?' or 'How did we get to this subject?'. Which can unnerve people, I do try to curb it with people who don't know me well!

[supergee.livejournal.com]

I am almost always willing to settle for paraphrase, sometimes asking for further clarification if some words I've heard don't seem represented in the new version.

[cakmpls.livejournal.com]

Plus, the accurate repetition requirement has left me with the rather odd ability to repeat large chunks of conversation verbatim

Nero Wolfe's assistant, Archie Goodwin, had this ability. Maybe you can find some wealthy, eccentric private detective to hire you!

[liv]

Maybe you can find some wealthy, eccentric private detective to hire you!
Wow. That's possibly the coolest career advice I've ever had. And I like that there's a fictional precedent for my weird superpower.