Thoughts on how I communicate

[redbird]

I've noticed that if I ask cattitude to repeat something, he will do so word-for-word, whereas if I'm asked "What?" I tend to assume that the problem was with the syntax or word choice, rather than on the auditory level, and will rephrase for attempted clarity. That's a good technique when I've gotten tangled in baroque sentence structures--there are things that work in writing but can be hard to follow when spoken--or left out pronoun references or other assumptions. It's counterproductive when the problem is that only some of the words have been heard. If you notice me doing this (not that we get to spend enough time together offline), please remind me that when you say "What?" you mean "Please repeat those words" rather than "Please rephrase that."

[This started as part of a response to tamiam, in a comment thread on elisem's journal. I'm repeating it here because other hearing-impaired people who talk to me may find the information useful, and maybe some people, whether or not they fit in that category, may find it interesting. And as a reminder to myself.]

Comments

[nellorat.livejournal.com]

I run into this, of course, with supergee. Rephrasing is not always a bad thing, at least if that is said clearly and a little more loudly. Then the other person can say, "Yes, but what did you say?" if s/he wants, but the message gets across regardless. Also, someone--Nancy L.? Not hearing imparied, but if there's ambient noise or a distraction, maybe--says "please repeat," which is explicit and helpful. But I am learning this subconsciously, I think, in that I more often repeat myself in reaction to a "What?" from Supergee, while I'm more likely to rephrase in response to a "what?" fro womzilla.

One problem S. and I have run into is that I'm most likely to speak too softly when I'm nauseated, extremely tired, or otherwise physically under the weather. And that's exactly when repeating myself sometimes seems onerous, even annoying. So far, I've discharged any irritation by first saying, "I said, You're a deef old coyote!" in a half-joking voice and then repeating myself. I know it's not optimum, but S. doesn't mind and it keeps me from really getting upset.

[nellorat.livejournal.com]

Come to think, I know tnh says "Please repeat." I still have some memory of it in Nancy's voice.