Pronouns

[redbird]

I realized a while ago that I wasn't sure of the correct pronouns for some of the people I know here, and I'd like to. So, please comment and tell me what pronouns to use for you. (Note that I'm not screening these comments, in case that's relevant: I know at least one person who uses different pronouns online and in person.)

I'm trying to default to "they" when I don't know people's pronouns, but I may not always realize I don't know.

My pronouns are she/her, and I'm fine with they/them, zie/zir, or Spivak pronouns if you use them for everyone. (ETA, since someone asked: Spivak pronouns are e/em/eir or ey/em/eir: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spivak_pronoun. (I ran across these on a LambdaMOO clone, which is also where I first used redbird as a username.)

Comments

[redbird]

Some of the objection is based on the attitude that gender always matters, and therefore should be signaled early and often. I suspect that another part of the difficulty is having been told, repeatedly, that "they is" was wrong by often well-intentioned teachers and other adults.

Yes, it would be nice to have a specifically singular non-gendered pronoun, just as it would sometimes be useful to still have "thou" as the singular of "you," but that's not how the language is evolving. In both cases, people can clarify, or ask for clarification: "Is my partner also invited, or just me?" or "Let's get together and catch up, just the two of us." (Few of the people who complain about this seem to notice that English could use, not only a more generally accepted/prestigious "y'all" or "youse," but forms of "we" that distinguish "this group of people, including the one(s) I'm talking to" from "a group that includes me but not you."

[raino]

I never paid attention before that "we" covers two separate meanings, but now I can't stop being bothered by it!
To signal gender, it would be so convenient to have different pronouns for "I" / "me" (like in Japanese, though I think all the gendered "I" pronouns are informal). But designed languages haven't done so great so far, so I guess we'll just have to live with the organically evolving ones, with their issues and their charm.