There's not much comfort in knowing that life is not fair

[redbird]

My sister-by-choice, roadnotes, who I've known since we were 13 or so, is dying of cancer. We had hoped she had a year or so left; as of today it looks like maybe a few weeks. The following (via a couple of forwards) is from her partner, Soren:

The palliative doctor told us he can't recommend her going home she's too weak everyday weaker and weaker unfortunately I kind of agree. Still not eating now she's not drinking either. Maybe few days or few weeks.

I'm trying to figure out whether I should try to change my flight back from Boston, to get to Seattle tomorrow or Sunday instead of Monday. I have asked Elise, who will be getting there tomorrow morning, to email or text me once she sees Velma.

(Yes, I was elliptical yesterday, before I got the most recent email, which included a request to "please spread the word.)

This is awful. I'm not sure how I will cope, but I have some good people to lean on.

Comments

[anne]

Oh, no. I was hoping that wasn't what you were talking about.

[lilysea]

This is so, so hard, both on you and on everyone else involved.

I'm sorry.

[replyhazy]

Well, that just totally sucks.

Hugs for you and all involved. I am so sorry to hear this.

[submarine_bells]

I'm so sorry.

My partner Artyem's best friend since childhood is in much the same position - diagnosed early this year, not expected to live to the end of the year. Watching Artyem hurt and grieve and worry is so hard. There's absolutely nothing I can do to help, other than do my level best to be supportive when he needs it.

I wish nobody had to go through this - not you, not Artyem, not your respective beloved friends, not nobody. I have nothing to offer except sympathy, but you have all of that from me. *hug*

[redbird]

If Artyem is emotionally like me (which I don't know) being there, holding him, etc. are a help. I woke Adrian yesterday because I was weeping, and Cattitude this morning for the same reason. They each held me.

[ironed_orchid]

Fucking cancer.

I'm so sorry you and your loved ones are dealing with this.

[green_knight]

I am sorry to read this and hope that her passage is as painless as these things can be.

[liv]

No, no, no! I was really hoping your elliptical post wasn't this, and now you've clarified I'm just looking at your post and trying to find words and just spluttering. There really is nothing good or comforting about this situation, I'm just sad and angry on your behalf.

[oursin]

So sorry to hear this. Much sympathy. Sending good thoughts.

[kaberett]

I am so sorry, and my thoughts are with all of you.

[the_siobhan]

I am so sorry.

[tam_nonlinear]

I am so, so sorry. So much of life is impossible things. I hope you all can find what peace and comfort there is in this, and I wish you all courage.

[princessofgeeks]

I am so sorry.

[nanila]

Oh no. I'm so sorry to hear this. I hope you and the rest of her family and friends can wrap her - and each other - in as much love as possible for the next few weeks.

[tim]

I don't know roadnotes, but she has seemed ubiquitous in my LJ/DW circles since I started using LJ. I'm so sorry.

This Mountain Goats song has been stuck in my head lately. (It's not really religious, despite the title.)

[threeringedmoon]

Wow, that's tough. She had posted within the past week to her LJ so I had hoped she had more time.

[anne]

I just saw Patrick's tweet. I am so very sorry.

[bibliofile]

I'm glad that you two live in the same city again for this. Please give her all my love when you see her.

I too had read her own/Soren's post the other week and had hoped for more time. Crap crap crap.

[commodorified]

... I just saw this. Oh My God.

[browngirl.livejournal.com]

This is indeed awful. I'm sorry.

[athenais.livejournal.com]

I am so sorry this is what you were referring to. Dreadful choice; I would go home earlier rather than later if she is this weak. How sad, how very sad.

[don-fitch.livejournal.com]

I suppose that I know, abstractly, that Bad People die like this at about the same rate as Good People, but it sure doesn't seem that way. The last close friend I have -- the one I'd relied upon to tell them to pull the plug on me when it was time -- is not the kind of person to talk about it, but he's stopped our regular expeditions for Good Sushi, and I expect the word "hospice" to crop up soon. Yeah, maybe five years ago he mentioned being older than any of his male ancestors had lived for the four generations on which he had data, but....

And Velma & Soren, though I haven't known them well, are solidly Good People. Too early, and entirely Unfair.

[anna feruglio dal dan (from livejournal.com)]

I am so sorry. I knew it was bad, but had not realised it was this bad. Hugs.

[avram]

Oh fuck.

[juliansinger.livejournal.com]

Gnar. Fuck cancer in the ear.

I was hoping that wasn't actually what your post was about, but OH WELL.

[elusis.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry to hear it. I don't know her but have seen her spoken fondly of by many people, particularly you. I'll keep all of you in my thoughts.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

I have sent her a card, and I will send you a thing also. Not before Monday's post, because it requires finishing. But. There is nothing I can do, but this is the equivalent of squeezing your hand long-distance because I can't do anything.