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coffeeem posted some advice about being on convention panels, which led me to say
Yes. I've done okay with a couple of last-minute saves on point 1, but it would have been better not to have to. At one, there were four of us on a panel, no moderator. One of the four had, shall we say, an agenda unrelated to what everyone else expected to talk about. Partway through, I appointed myself moderator and spent the rest of the hour making sure that the other panelists got a chance to talk about what we were supposed to be discussing, and called on audience members. I pulled this off by (a) being a pushy New Yorker, and (b) accepting that this meant I'd be moderating, not stating my own opinions. It wasn't good, but it wasn't the Panel from Hell either.
Another, there were five of us, and we'd not been given a moderator. I walked in slightly late (my own fault, I lost track of time), andrysmiel smiled and told me I was moderating. We got lucky: the other four people knew more about the subject, but I'd been keeping an eye on stuff and had plenty of good questions, so I was in fact the right moderator for the group. This also let me cheat on the introductions and just say "I'm Vicki Rosenzweig, and I'm your moderator" and let the next person introduce themself. That one didn't have the Panel From Hell potential of the first, though I did have to keep a bit of a rein on an outside expert, a futurologist or some such who had no real experience of sf cons and what we mean by panels, as distinct from"each person makes a 15-minute presentation."
In a discussion of being told to smile inmrissa's journal, barondave extended/defended an earlier comment by noting that one reason for what he said is that he's a photographer. I wrote this (not the whole comment, but the part I think worth keeping):
Your being a photographer does not make me a photographer's model; unless I've specifically agreed to pose for someone (whether they asked me to, or I asked them to take a photo), I have no obligation to behave in ways that will make me a better photographic subject.
Photographers routinely behave in ways that cause me pain, without stopping to think that they might be doing so or ask permission. This does not lead me to want to have candid photos taken of me. Bright lights hurt my eyes. A photographic flash pointed at or near me, or going off right next to me, is bright enough to be painful. Many people take random flash photos without asking the subjects; almost nobody thinks to check with, say, the person behind and to the right of the one they're trying to photograph. Yes, this is a minority problem, but I'm not the only person who has it, or even the only one in my social circle.
In a locked post,minnehaha K. asked about negative gossip and how people deal with it. I wrote:
One of my filters on gossip seems to be, does the person who told me this seem to enjoy spreading bad news? I'm less likely to believe that someone did something bad if the person I hear it from is eager to tell the world if so-and-so lost their job or broke up with their partner, but doesn't bother telling anyone if so-and-so got a new job, or someone has had a child and is utterly delighted. Because that reads as "this person will believe/spread the worst about anyone or anything," and I assume they're not looking for mitigating circumstances or checking the truth of bad news.
The rest is somewhat circular: I'm more likely to believe/listen to a warning if it's from someone I trust for other reasons, or in other contexts. This may not actually be sensible: that someone doesn't lie to me, or shows up when they said they would, doesn't mean they have good judgment about other people, nor yet that they checked their sources.
I just like the phrasing here:
marnanel is working on a project that names rather than numbering iterations. In alphabetical order. They got up to Z rather quickly, and are now being very careful: the last two and upcoming are zilch, zillion, and zim. So I left a comment suggesting "zloty" and "zruty". Marnanel asked if zrutys exist outside nethack, and I wrote:
I'd thought nethack got it from D&D or the like, but a quick google suggests it's indigenous.
micheinnz asked "So, if I were to invent a dish called Chicken with Wrong Sauce...
what would be in the sauce?
The rules:
1. All ingredients must be edible by (all or most) humans
2. No endangered species"
Goat cheese, roasted peppers, onion, tarragon.
or
Sauteed onions, Worcestershire sauce, black pepper.
or
Cocoa, chopped nuts, heavy cream.
"Wrong sauce" had me thinking "this is the sauce for some other dish": hence one omelette filling, one that most people would put on steak, one for an ice cream sundae [replacing the hot fudge with unsweetened cocoa to get something closer to a mole poblano, which you might eat].
If you try the last, serve ginger ice cream for dessert.
coffeeem posted some advice about being on convention panels, which led me to sayYes. I've done okay with a couple of last-minute saves on point 1, but it would have been better not to have to. At one, there were four of us on a panel, no moderator. One of the four had, shall we say, an agenda unrelated to what everyone else expected to talk about. Partway through, I appointed myself moderator and spent the rest of the hour making sure that the other panelists got a chance to talk about what we were supposed to be discussing, and called on audience members. I pulled this off by (a) being a pushy New Yorker, and (b) accepting that this meant I'd be moderating, not stating my own opinions. It wasn't good, but it wasn't the Panel from Hell either.
Another, there were five of us, and we'd not been given a moderator. I walked in slightly late (my own fault, I lost track of time), and
rysmiel smiled and told me I was moderating. We got lucky: the other four people knew more about the subject, but I'd been keeping an eye on stuff and had plenty of good questions, so I was in fact the right moderator for the group. This also let me cheat on the introductions and just say "I'm Vicki Rosenzweig, and I'm your moderator" and let the next person introduce themself. That one didn't have the Panel From Hell potential of the first, though I did have to keep a bit of a rein on an outside expert, a futurologist or some such who had no real experience of sf cons and what we mean by panels, as distinct from"each person makes a 15-minute presentation."In a discussion of being told to smile in
mrissa's journal, barondave extended/defended an earlier comment by noting that one reason for what he said is that he's a photographer. I wrote this (not the whole comment, but the part I think worth keeping): Your being a photographer does not make me a photographer's model; unless I've specifically agreed to pose for someone (whether they asked me to, or I asked them to take a photo), I have no obligation to behave in ways that will make me a better photographic subject.
Photographers routinely behave in ways that cause me pain, without stopping to think that they might be doing so or ask permission. This does not lead me to want to have candid photos taken of me. Bright lights hurt my eyes. A photographic flash pointed at or near me, or going off right next to me, is bright enough to be painful. Many people take random flash photos without asking the subjects; almost nobody thinks to check with, say, the person behind and to the right of the one they're trying to photograph. Yes, this is a minority problem, but I'm not the only person who has it, or even the only one in my social circle.
In a locked post,
minnehaha K. asked about negative gossip and how people deal with it. I wrote:One of my filters on gossip seems to be, does the person who told me this seem to enjoy spreading bad news? I'm less likely to believe that someone did something bad if the person I hear it from is eager to tell the world if so-and-so lost their job or broke up with their partner, but doesn't bother telling anyone if so-and-so got a new job, or someone has had a child and is utterly delighted. Because that reads as "this person will believe/spread the worst about anyone or anything," and I assume they're not looking for mitigating circumstances or checking the truth of bad news.
The rest is somewhat circular: I'm more likely to believe/listen to a warning if it's from someone I trust for other reasons, or in other contexts. This may not actually be sensible: that someone doesn't lie to me, or shows up when they said they would, doesn't mean they have good judgment about other people, nor yet that they checked their sources.
I just like the phrasing here:
marnanel is working on a project that names rather than numbering iterations. In alphabetical order. They got up to Z rather quickly, and are now being very careful: the last two and upcoming are zilch, zillion, and zim. So I left a comment suggesting "zloty" and "zruty". Marnanel asked if zrutys exist outside nethack, and I wrote:I'd thought nethack got it from D&D or the like, but a quick google suggests it's indigenous.
micheinnz asked "So, if I were to invent a dish called Chicken with Wrong Sauce...what would be in the sauce?
The rules:
1. All ingredients must be edible by (all or most) humans
2. No endangered species"
Goat cheese, roasted peppers, onion, tarragon.
or
Sauteed onions, Worcestershire sauce, black pepper.
or
Cocoa, chopped nuts, heavy cream.
"Wrong sauce" had me thinking "this is the sauce for some other dish": hence one omelette filling, one that most people would put on steak, one for an ice cream sundae [replacing the hot fudge with unsweetened cocoa to get something closer to a mole poblano, which you might eat].
If you try the last, serve ginger ice cream for dessert.
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Of all my encounters with this kind of yahoo, this one stands out.
Scene: Waiting for a bus after a double shift. Wearing (not that it should frickin' matter) quite respectable 'I work high end retail' clothes.
Man at bus stop: Smile!
Me: Pardon?
Man: Smile! I bet you're even prettier when you smile!
Me: Ah. Evidently you are confused. It is not my job to be pretty for you. There are places where it might be someone's job to be pretty for you, a bus stop is not one of them. You can try to find them in the phone book. For right now I suggest you leave me the fuck alone.
Man slinks to far end of bus stop muttering. An elderly woman catches my eye. I wonder if my swearing has offended her.
Elderly woman: People who do that get on my last nerve. It's so damn annoying.
I've had friends (yes, more than one!) told to smile when walking out of the doctor's office after being told they had cancer. Their replies were markedly less printable.
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Then I gave him the e-mail address the pictures were to be sent to, which he tried to write down by flattening a piece of paper against his stomach and attempting to make marks with a pen while peering over in a futile gesture of trying to see what he was doing. (Yes, there were tables around.) My opinion of his general competence started dropping. I haven't seen the photos yet.