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Someone has declared today "Blog Against Heteronormativity Day." For me, there's an element of "why is this night different?"--being out about who I am isn't a once-a-year thing. But, like many another day for a cause, it's not a bad thing to focus on either a problem or a celebration.
I was talking to my girlfriend last night, and she mentioned that she'd been looking at her high school's alumni/reunion page. It's set up with pictures of graduates, both yearbook and (if they so choose) current, and any comments the person adds. She'd looked at 200 or so people's comments, all from her graduating class, and none of them mention a same-sex partner.
It seems more likely that the other queers in her graduating class aren't interested in the alumni stuff, or that they don't feel this is a safe place to be out, than that she's the only one. (She hasn't put in any comments.) And after a while, that's self-reinforcing: if you see 200 people you used to know, none of whom is out about a same-sex partner on the high school alumni website, you're less likely to decide to be the first than if you happen to be the third person to be writing any comments, whether or not either of the other two mentioned a partner of any gender. And less likely to mention your same-sex partner than if, skimming 200 other entries, you see a few that are clearly by queer classmates, and possibly some that are ambiguous (I use "partner" for my loves of both genders, and did so even when I had only one partner, not of my own gender; or someone might write something like "I'm living happily in Chicago with my beloved" and mentions a non-gender-specific name).
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I was talking to my girlfriend last night, and she mentioned that she'd been looking at her high school's alumni/reunion page. It's set up with pictures of graduates, both yearbook and (if they so choose) current, and any comments the person adds. She'd looked at 200 or so people's comments, all from her graduating class, and none of them mention a same-sex partner.
It seems more likely that the other queers in her graduating class aren't interested in the alumni stuff, or that they don't feel this is a safe place to be out, than that she's the only one. (She hasn't put in any comments.) And after a while, that's self-reinforcing: if you see 200 people you used to know, none of whom is out about a same-sex partner on the high school alumni website, you're less likely to decide to be the first than if you happen to be the third person to be writing any comments, whether or not either of the other two mentioned a partner of any gender. And less likely to mention your same-sex partner than if, skimming 200 other entries, you see a few that are clearly by queer classmates, and possibly some that are ambiguous (I use "partner" for my loves of both genders, and did so even when I had only one partner, not of my own gender; or someone might write something like "I'm living happily in Chicago with my beloved" and mentions a non-gender-specific name).
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supergee for the pointer]Tags:
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From:
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Now, when I was actually a student there were quiet, negative, rumours about who the queer girls were, and of course there were queer girls there, but that reunion was the first time I heard anyone speak openly, and positively about the rumoured-about coterie of lesbians and bisexuals.