I cannot take responsibility for your enlightenment (or vice versa)

[redbird]

This was prompted by rmjwell and cakmpls discussing whether it is the job of people in oppressed groups to educate people outside those groups:

One of the things people mean by "it's not my job to educate you about X" is "I've done this already, I've answered these questions a hundred times, I refuse to spend my life doing so because so many people won't pick up a book on the subject, or watch a video."

That's doubly so either when it's a relatively small minority experience--there are a lot more heterosexuals who need to educate themselves about what it's like to be queer than there are articulate, out lesbians, bisexuals, and gay men to do the educating.

It's doubly so when the thing that people need to understand is in itself a major burden--someone mentioned having a child with Asperger's, for example.

It's doubly so when part of the burden is being looked at as an outsider, and the questions are phrased as "tell me about your people" rather than as "you're one of us, I'd like to understand this aspect of your life better."

Comments

[razorsmile.livejournal.com]

One of the things people mean by "it's not my job to educate you about X" is "I've done this already, I've answered these questions a hundred times, I refuse to spend my life doing so because so many people won't pick up a book on the subject, or watch a video."

Right. And the instant the person mouths any insights they may have derived from doing exactly that, you vengefully pounce on them for being wrong.

This reminds me of Koreans and/or Chinese getting mad when referred to as Asian; after all, we (i.e. non-Asians) should know the difference enough to be precise - somehow. I'm Nigerian, from the Igbo tribe. You do not want me to go into the number of subdivisions within that; think of multiple concentric Venn Diagrams. So if someone refers to me as West African, African or even African-American, I can't really bring myself to give a rats ass.

there are a lot more heterosexuals who need to educate themselves about what it's like to be queer than there are articulate, out lesbians, bisexuals, and gay men to do the educating.

An obvious Catch-22 situation.

[redbird]

No. I do not vengefully pounce on people for being wrong. If they are wrong, I explain that. If, more often, they are over-generalizing--something humans tend to do, it's part of how our brains evolved--I explain that while a lot of women/queers/Americans/etc. are like that, we aren't all, and I'm not.

Fortunately for the people who need to educate themselves, there are such things as bookstores and public libraries, and groups who have taken on that job of educating. If someone comes to me and says "I just found out my $relative is gay, help" I'm going to refer them to PFLAG, which has more information and more resources.

Do you make a point of vengefully pouncing on anyone who refers to you as African instead of Nigerian or Igbo? No. So why do you assume that I, a stranger to you, am waiting to attack?

[razorsmile.livejournal.com]

No. I do not vengefully pounce on people for being wrong. If they are wrong, I explain that. If, more often, they are over-generalizing--something humans tend to do, it's part of how our brains evolved--I explain that while a lot of women/queers/Americans/etc. are like that, we aren't all, and I'm not.

When I said "you", I meant ... ah. It would appear I was over-generalizing. I meant to say that some gays/lesbians/etc. get defensive when queried by the ignorant - presumably due to past provocation. As for the Asian/African example, I was pointing out how absurd it is for someone outside the culture(s) to differentiate between them without extensive research. More to the point, odds are you won't need the knowledge in the first place. If however one does find oneself dealing with the unusual, it becomes advisable to do said research.

Wilful ignorance is more a function of individuals than anything else. Too bad there's so damn many of them.

Do you make a point of vengefully pouncing on anyone who refers to you as African instead of Nigerian or Igbo? No.

Precisely my point. No one else should either.