Go ahead and feel

[redbird]

It's all right to feel what you feel. Even if it seems contradictory. Joy and gladness are not limited, nor are pain and sadness. Other people's problems don't mean you can't be glad that something has gone right for you--or unhappy that something has gone wrong, even if it's comparatively minor.

Comments

[feonixrift.livejournal.com]

*claps* I wish more people grasped that concept deeply, it would alleviate so much unnecessary guilt.

I think that we've all gotten used to being lectured by prigs, you see.

[dakiwiboid.livejournal.com]

There are those who tend to forget that life does and must go on, regardless of tragedies elsewhere, and feel that gravity and gravitas must be imposed on everyone everywhere.

Re: I think that we've all gotten used to being lectured by prigs, you see.

[redbird]

It's not just lectures by prigs: more that, looking at my friends list for the last couple of days, it seems a useful reminder.

A good friend of mine told me something very valuable: it is possible to count joy and sorrow on separate axes, rather than subtracting one from the other and then concluding that, overall, one is happy or unhappy.

Separate Axes ... :-)

[the-magician.livejournal.com]

... oh, wait ... not the sharp metal kind! Though they are good for separating as well .... :-)


It's like the "dinner" and "dessert" compartments of your stomach ... you can be totally "flup" and can't manage another bite of, say, turkey dinner ... and still have room for christmas pudding (or alternatives for vegetarians etc.)

I was watching people on TV devastated by the destruction, happy at the survival of their family/friends, unhappy about what was going to happy next and smiling because they were on TV ... and *all* those emotions were valid and simultaneous ...

... we are complex beings and the ability to hold two mutually exclusive ideas in our heads at the same time is part of our ability to be creative and intelligent.

If I'm asked whether I'm happy at the moment ... then it becomes a complex question ... but there is definitely happiness in there ...

... life is more like a mixed salad, and asking whether it is "lettuce" or "tomato" is actually a bad question ... it's both, and it's varying amounts of each in each mouthful.

Re: Separate Axes ... :-)

[feonixrift.livejournal.com]

life is more like a mixed salad, and asking whether it is "lettuce" or "tomato" is actually a bad question

You've just ended up in my file of random quotes. That was really nicely put.

*blush*

[the-magician.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

[liv]

I have no idea if this has anything to do with me in fact, but it feels very apt for where I am just now, and it's something I needed to hear. Thanks for posting this.

[kightp.livejournal.com]

A very good reminder. Thank you.

[ailbhe]

Thanks. A lot of people close to me need to hear this, and I intend to use your words to tell them.

[angeyja.livejournal.com]

Thank you. That was a very good thing to read.

[ellarien]

Thank you.