Mom

[redbird]

When I spoke to my mother a few days ago, I mentioned that I'm growing my hair out. Her response included the phrase "I don't approve".

I assured her that I understand about trimming split ends, and we went on to other things.

But I keep thinking about this, partly because I don't remember her explicitly saying she didn't approve of anything in close to 20 years. She hasn't said that about the tattoos, which are much further away from any social norm I might be expected to fit. Maybe she knew that a tattoo, once done, is there barring expensive surgery, whereas hair can always be cut again?

[Poll #224613]

Comments

[adrian-turtle.livejournal.com]

Certain kinds of social liberals believe it is admirable to be tolerant of choices in personal appearance that look like social or political or artistic statements. Drastic changes in how someone looks may trigger that tolerance. "Oh. A nose ring. I'm supposed to be tolerant of that sort of thing." Less drastic changes may simply fail to trigger the tolerance, so you get a more immediate "I don't like that," which can sometimes be expressed as "I don't approve of that." Your mother may think that long hair will make you look old or unattractive, and this is more bothersome to her than having you look like you dabble in counterculture.

[papersky.livejournal.com]

To give her the benefit of the doubt. maybe she just likes it short.

I've just cut Zorinth's hair, not because I like it short (I like it both ways) but because I like it tidy, he can have it long when he starts looking after it properly long. This can't possibly be your mother's motivation!

[doseybat.livejournal.com]

i see my mum about once a fortnight, and Every Single Time she asks me cut my hair. how many times is that during the past 14 years?

[allyson13.livejournal.com]

There must be something about hair and mothers.

I had "good" hair, therefore I couldn't cut my thick, dry hair.

Finally, when I got married and moved out of the house, I eventually cut my hair and didn't turn back.

[bibliotrope.livejournal.com]

One reason my mom always wanted me to have short hair because she thought it was easier to take care of -- fewer tangles, dries faster after washing, etc. She had a point there.

But I like long hair. I like the feel of it. I like being able to pull it back or twist it up out of the way. I like not having to have it trimmed every couple of weeks to keep it the right length.

Currently, my hair is about the longest it's ever been, down to my waist.

[mneme]

I've noticed (mostly with nrivkis's interation with -her- parents) that there's a sizable fraction of the female population -- often those younger than my mother (she's 62, and has always had long hair as long as I've known her), who think that short hair makes a woman look childish and immature.
Personally, I just donlt get this, though I know that during medieval and rennaiscance times, it was customary for maidens to wear their hair loose, and put it up and/or wear a hat when they were married (and, of course, there's a similar but more stringent custom within Jewish Orthodoxy).