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But difficult to avoid.
It's okay to look at how much weight I'm lifting, as long as I avoid worrying about the numbers--but as soon as I start paying much attention to what anyone else is doing, it's not good. Knowing I can lift more than someone else doesn't really get me anywhere, and paying attention when I'm lifting less than someone else is worse.
So I copy the occasional stretch, and try not to think about how much that other person is lifting: difficult if we're taking turns on the same machine, and adjusting the weights accordingly.
I just replied in haste to a friend's comment on my previous journal. She meant to be supportive, and mostly was--but the comment about "a girl's figure" pushed all the wrong buttons for me. As I said there, I'm not playing that game, because I can't win: not because a woman my size isn't good-looking, but because if I start believing that losing weight counts as a win, I lose serenity and health, and because if I started thinking of exercise in those terms, I'd probably stop exercising when it became clear, once again, that some of us are thinner than others, and I'll never be "petite." I don't need to be petite--I just need to avoid the well-meaning people who assume that that's my goal. (I'm also not in training to be tall and blonde--nothing wrong with any of those things, but none of them is me.)
There are quite a few of them at the gym. From time to time, I've gotten advice and useful instruction from random trainers there. But I've also had to stop them and say "this isn't a weight-loss program. I'm here to build muscle, and weight loss is irrelevant to that." The difference isn't just in my attitude--they were suggesting exercises that wouldn't do what I want, because they thought I wanted something different.
It's okay to look at how much weight I'm lifting, as long as I avoid worrying about the numbers--but as soon as I start paying much attention to what anyone else is doing, it's not good. Knowing I can lift more than someone else doesn't really get me anywhere, and paying attention when I'm lifting less than someone else is worse.
So I copy the occasional stretch, and try not to think about how much that other person is lifting: difficult if we're taking turns on the same machine, and adjusting the weights accordingly.
I just replied in haste to a friend's comment on my previous journal. She meant to be supportive, and mostly was--but the comment about "a girl's figure" pushed all the wrong buttons for me. As I said there, I'm not playing that game, because I can't win: not because a woman my size isn't good-looking, but because if I start believing that losing weight counts as a win, I lose serenity and health, and because if I started thinking of exercise in those terms, I'd probably stop exercising when it became clear, once again, that some of us are thinner than others, and I'll never be "petite." I don't need to be petite--I just need to avoid the well-meaning people who assume that that's my goal. (I'm also not in training to be tall and blonde--nothing wrong with any of those things, but none of them is me.)
There are quite a few of them at the gym. From time to time, I've gotten advice and useful instruction from random trainers there. But I've also had to stop them and say "this isn't a weight-loss program. I'm here to build muscle, and weight loss is irrelevant to that." The difference isn't just in my attitude--they were suggesting exercises that wouldn't do what I want, because they thought I wanted something different.
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