Is this a dagger

[redbird]

that I see before me?

We were looking through the fridge, deciding what was still good and to be cooked with, and what had to go. (The carrots were sprouting. They do that.) cattitude said "The broccoli is valid."

So I asked "Does that mean it will get me on the subway?"
"No."
"Does it mean I can borrow books with it?"
"No… It means you can do a serious nude scene with it."

Knowing a cue when I hear one, I took my clothes off. (This didn't take long--I'd removed most of them hours ago, to keep cool.) Cattitude offered me two stalks of broccoli. I considered a moment, took the one with the leaf, and, not being aware of any serious drama involving broccoli, declaimed "Is this a dagger that I see before me, its handle toward my hand?" and Cattitude, as you have already seen, pointed out that it wasn't.

Something was then said about a camera, which led to me striking over-dramatic poses with broccoli. After two or three iterations, I got tired of brandishing the broccoli, and pretended to stab myself in the chest with the florets. Cattitude argued that since this covered the breasts, it was less valid; I riposted that if the scene is dramatically valid, the moments when you can't see the breasts also belong on camera.

Further silliness and photography ensued, ending in the question "Did you know that you're my weirdo?" I smiled at him.

Comments

[pyrzqxgl.livejournal.com]

Last night I went to a Robert Anton Wilson event locally -- there was the premiere of a movie about him, the mayor was there proclaiming it to be Robert Anton Wilson day, etc. Being in a crowded theater as we all were, at one point the MC invited everyone to indulge themselves by yelling "FIRE!!!".

Then someone yelled "WATER!!!".

Then someone yelled "EARTH!!!".

Then someone yelled "BROCCOLI!!!".

[minnehaha.livejournal.com]

Excellent.

B

[treadpath.livejournal.com]

Alas! Poor Floret! I knew him, Horatio...

You guys are funny. :)

[yonmei.livejournal.com]

I have a friend whose two-year-old son used to start asking for broccoli as soon as they entered the supermarket. What he wanted was to sit with a cluster of broccoli on his lap to talk to. "Bwoccoli is my fwend!" apparently. (He wouldn't eat it.) That's the only drama I'm aware of involving broccoli....

[numbat.livejournal.com]

The chef at work hates to waste anything. So after he's cut all the heads of the broccoli for vegetable side dishes he trims the stalks and then cuts 'em into strips so they can go in to. It amuses me that people may well eat these without realising they're broccoli. I suppose this is what you would call light drama.