Something I got from talking with a partner, rather than therapy: the idea of emotional weather. That is, sometimes I'm feeling bad because of random variations in air pressure or hormones, and it's not merely pointless but potentially harmful to try to answer "what's wrong?" as "what is bothering me?" rather than as "I'm just feeling down right now." Because the question "what's wrong?" presupposes that something is, and if asked in those terms I will assume an exogenous something is, and looking for an answer may pull up old memories, or things that might in other circumstances be bothering me. Example: it can be true both that I'm feeling down, and that it would be nice if I'd done X, without it being true that I'm unhappy because I didn't get to do that thing.
If the immediate answer to "what's wrong?" is "my knee hurts" I will then go in directions of "should I ice it?" or "would stretching help?" I may also consider "is that the arthritis, or the neuropathic pain, or the old injury?" but mostly in terms of "would an NSAID or tylenol help?" And whatever answers I come up with, either acting on them or saying "none of that seems useful" is a natural stopping point. If the immediate answer is "I'm feeling sad" my next question is still likely to be "about what?" (which presupposes, again, that something has happened/been done) rather than "would some herb tea help, or petting the cat, or going outside for a bit?"
(This started as a comment to![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
kaberett, but I think putting the second half here may help my own moods/state of mind.)
If the immediate answer to "what's wrong?" is "my knee hurts" I will then go in directions of "should I ice it?" or "would stretching help?" I may also consider "is that the arthritis, or the neuropathic pain, or the old injury?" but mostly in terms of "would an NSAID or tylenol help?" And whatever answers I come up with, either acting on them or saying "none of that seems useful" is a natural stopping point. If the immediate answer is "I'm feeling sad" my next question is still likely to be "about what?" (which presupposes, again, that something has happened/been done) rather than "would some herb tea help, or petting the cat, or going outside for a bit?"
(This started as a comment to
kaberett, but I think putting the second half here may help my own moods/state of mind.)Tags: