Seder and general coziness

[redbird]

adrian_turtle, cattitude, and I went my aunt's Passover seder yesterday [1]. When Aunt Lea called to invite me and Andy a few weeks ago, I asked if I could bring Adrian, because she didn't have a seder to go to. Lea said it might be a little tight, physically, but of course Adrian was welcome. Adrian came down here Saturday afternoon; she could have gotten here earlier, but Andy and I wanted a little time to ourselves, and for him to nap, given that I was in Montreal the weekend before.

Finding matzoh in the neighborhood was more hassle than we expected, between stores that had none and the local supermarket having gotten several kinds of not-for-Passover-use matzo. I'd not been expecting a problem, because I hadn't bothered in years. I'm just in this to see my family; Adrian actually observes the holiday, and wanted matzoh. Nonetheless, Cattitude succeeded in finding the appropriate food, and had a nice walk out of it. I'd gotten a duck at Jefferson Market Friday, which I roasted for Saturday night's dinner, with roasted potatoes and cucumber salad. Sunday, Adrian made matzoh brei (a different style than I grew up with, but we all three enjoyed it) for late breakfast/early lunch.

Adrian and my relatives hit it off well. She said very nice things about my aunt Lea (who really is very cool), was proclaimed "now officially a relative" by my cousin Janet halfway through the seder for reading fluently and quickly from the hagaddah, and happily let Janet (and me, but mostly Janet) show her family photos and heirlooms. In the course of that tour, Adrian exclaimed happily over the poster showing the Periodic Table of the Protozoa. Aunt Lea still has Grandma and Grandpa's seder glasses (and my parents' highball glasses, which she used for water and seltzer during the meal), and some other nice glass dishes. Two teacups and saucers left, which she gave to me and Janet. Next year I may suggest that she use one herself, so I don't worry about dropping them.

My aunt Ruth seems to have mellowed in the last year or two; I don't know if that's an actual change, or that uncle Hank (her husband) wasn't there, or some other factor. After Ruth said something about Simon's health, Friedl (who I didn't grow up around, but who my mother and aunts refer to as "the fourth sister") told me that my mother is a saint.

On the way home, Adrian asked if Dave (Lea's husband) had been the only Jewish man there. I said no, there had been no Jewish men there. (She knows Cattitude isn't Jewish, and Janet's friend John was asking questions in ways that made it clear that he's not Jewish.)

When I asked Lea if I could bring Adrian, I referred to her as "my girlfriend Adrian," and then figured that I wasn't going to make a fuss about the nature of our relationship, but neither was I going to deny it if asked. As people arrived, Lea said "Vicki's friend," and I just referred to her by name. One or two people asked, and we said she'd come down from Boston for the weekend and to attend the seder. Similarly, John was introduced to people as Janet's friend, though that's pretty clearly a romantic connection (and he clearly wasn't looking for a seder for the sake of a seder). [To Lea, I said "this is Adrian," having described her previously.] She, Cattitude, and I showed up together, clearly all on good terms and happy;, while half of you would read that as cozy poly family, a lot of other people are going to read that as good friend (which she is) but not of that shape.

[1] This was officially a first seder: my aunt's figuring is that the day, for these purposes, is sundown to sundown, and starting at 2:00 Sunday afternoon and finishing around 5 or 6 is much easier on her and other people than starting right after sunset and finishing after 11 p.m.