Healthy Love Songs

My friend serenejournal has started a blog for pointing to, and maybe discussing, healthy love songs. This was prompted by a discussion of how many popular songs show really unhealthy relationships—ranging from the subtext of trading sex for financial support in "Eight Days a Week""A Hard Day's Night" (thank you, Avram) to the weirdness of people using the blatant stalker song "Every Breath You Take" as a wedding song. I'm also blogging there, as is Rob (who may be on LJ but I don't remember his handle), and I have skimmed the song list in my iTunes library (just because it's handy) and been disconcerted by how few of the songs in there definitely qualify. A lot are about other things, of course—for example, the only love song in Sondheim's Assassins is "Unworthy of Your Love," the duet for Squeaky Fromme and John Hinkley, but that's not primarily a musical about relationships. (Company is, but I'm not convinced there's anything there either, much as I like the show.) But I was still hoping for more, and will be posting some of these, probably only one or two a day, and seeing what else I find. There's a lot I don't remember well enough to be sure of: it may be an afternoon for listening to VNV Nation and/or They Might Be Giants and seeing which lyrics fit. This definitely calls for attention, as a lot of music has disturbing subtext but is far less blatant than "Every Breath You Take."

Obviously, people may disagree on what counts as healthy here; this thread started on alt.polyamory, though quite a bit of what we come up with is more or less explicitly monogamous, which is fine as long as it's "I love you" and not "s/he's mine, keep your hands off" or "I'm watching to make sure you don't look at another man."

ETA: I think I shall spend some time tracking down some of the songs people have pointed to here (though it may take a while). If anyone would rather not be credited elsenet, or wants to be credited under a name other than your LJ handle for songs you've pointed to, please let me know.

Healthy Love Songs

My friend serenejournal has started a blog for pointing to, and maybe discussing, healthy love songs. This was prompted by a discussion of how many popular songs show really unhealthy relationships—ranging from the subtext of trading sex for financial support in "Eight Days a Week""A Hard Day's Night" (thank you, Avram) to the weirdness of people using the blatant stalker song "Every Breath You Take" as a wedding song. I'm also blogging there, as is Rob (who may be on LJ but I don't remember his handle), and I have skimmed the song list in my iTunes library (just because it's handy) and been disconcerted by how few of the songs in there definitely qualify. A lot are about other things, of course—for example, the only love song in Sondheim's Assassins is "Unworthy of Your Love," the duet for Squeaky Fromme and John Hinkley, but that's not primarily a musical about relationships. (Company is, but I'm not convinced there's anything there either, much as I like the show.) But I was still hoping for more, and will be posting some of these, probably only one or two a day, and seeing what else I find. There's a lot I don't remember well enough to be sure of: it may be an afternoon for listening to VNV Nation and/or They Might Be Giants and seeing which lyrics fit. This definitely calls for attention, as a lot of music has disturbing subtext but is far less blatant than "Every Breath You Take."

Obviously, people may disagree on what counts as healthy here; this thread started on alt.polyamory, though quite a bit of what we come up with is more or less explicitly monogamous, which is fine as long as it's "I love you" and not "s/he's mine, keep your hands off" or "I'm watching to make sure you don't look at another man."

ETA: I think I shall spend some time tracking down some of the songs people have pointed to here (though it may take a while). If anyone would rather not be credited elsenet, or wants to be credited under a name other than your LJ handle for songs you've pointed to, please let me know.

Found a new design flaw

A little while ago, I found a new design flaw in our kitchen. There is a small space behind one of the cabinets. It turns out this is not too small for some things to slide into, and there's no outlet or method of removal (short of the theoretical option of remodeling to remove those cabinets).

I found this out by accidentally having the lid of a tea canister slide into it. This is annoying but only annoying: I had a spare tea canister, and a small, squarish piece of metal isn't going to rot or otherwise smell bad or attract problems.

In some ways, I'm just startled: we've been here long enough that I would have expected to have found all the problems by now. But they say there is no last bug, and I see no reason that should be limited to software design.

Found a new design flaw

A little while ago, I found a new design flaw in our kitchen. There is a small space behind one of the cabinets. It turns out this is not too small for some things to slide into, and there's no outlet or method of removal (short of the theoretical option of remodeling to remove those cabinets).

I found this out by accidentally having the lid of a tea canister slide into it. This is annoying but only annoying: I had a spare tea canister, and a small, squarish piece of metal isn't going to rot or otherwise smell bad or attract problems.

In some ways, I'm just startled: we've been here long enough that I would have expected to have found all the problems by now. But they say there is no last bug, and I see no reason that should be limited to software design.