I am not happy with the vet

[redbird]

The cat is basically fine.

The cat has gotten fat enough that the vet wants him to lose weight. I can cope with that. It will be a hassle, since the vet's approach involves a special diet cat food, and sharply limiting treats of our food.

What I wasn't coping well with was that the vet couldn't or wouldn't just cut to the chase, in terms of why, medically, this matters. He went on at length about human obesity, and talked about his own diet, and the like.

Then, on the way out of the room, he mentioned, reasonably, that a cat can lose too much weight on this stuff (or on refusing it, because cats can be particular) and therefore suggested either bringing him in to be weighed when we pick up more of the special food, or getting a scale and weighing him at home. We are not getting a scale. I reiterated that, and cattitude agreed.

So we get back to the reception area, and explain that the vet wants them to sell us a small bag of this food. And the receptionist said something like "She's retaining water." And I lost it. I said no, he's fat. If he was retaining water, the doctor would have prescribed a diuretic. She said something about being polite, and I was blinking back tears, and don't recall what else I said except that it included the word "fucking." I pulled myself together, signed the credit card slip, and asked for the bathroom (which I would have anyway, I realized I wanted it before we actually saw the vet).

I had thought I was a bit calmer on these issues. I realized, while we were outside waiting for the cab, that the whole "everyone should diet stuff" was bad enough, but the last straw had been the euphemisms, with the idea that "fat" wasn't a medical issue, but something shameful enough that it cannot be referred to explicitly even when talking about a pet, who doesn't understand any of the words.

But we got home, and Cattitude hugged me and is making us lunch. I have upset myself again writing this, but I wanted to get it down.

Comments

[adrian-turtle.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry. The vet's behavior looks pretty distressing. There is so much anxiety and resentment about fat, it's hard to maintain any kind of equilibrium about it. A person can take a vet school continuing education class about feline diabetes (more than half of which turns out to be preaching against fat cats), and be jumpy about the subject for a month. If, during that month, the person gets scolded by his or her own GP, mother, spouse, in terms like, "Don't you realize you're still fat? Even a few pounds heavier than you were? You're going to get [illness] and die, like your [relative] did!" and sees 10 articles in the popular press that equate obesity with sin...all that anxiety is contagious.

And the receptionist's behavior was simply unacceptable. You should send a complaint to the vet. Molecular mail is a good way to handle this sort of thing, in my experience. "She's retaining water."
1. Having been neutered does not make your cat female.
2, as you pointed out, retaining water is different from being fat.
3. Retaining water is treated differently from being fat.
4. Initially, she seemed to be talking about a different cat.
5. When you called her on it, she tried to justify her behavior in terms that implied fat is rude, shameful, not to be spoken of in public.

[redbird]

To be fair, with regard to point 5, she didn't try to justify it in those terms, just said she'd been joking. The subtext is what I think was going on in my brain, to make me react the way I did.