Diligent and grown-up

[redbird]

At noon today, I had an appointment with my lawyer to sign a will, a living will/health care proxy, and a power of attorney. I say "my lawyer," but I hadn't met her before: all the stuff before this had been done by phone and email with her mostly-retired partner. I looked over what they'd typed up, to make sure it matched what Fred and I had worked on; went through the options on a power of attorney; and read over and signed the living will (I'm not 100% happy with it, but am not sure what changes I'd make, and I am happier with it than with nothing, for now. The main thing is, I think, going to be conversations with my partners about what I'd want, so they can make decisions for me if necessary).

She also asked after my mother's health, and asked that I send her regards. I live in a city of 8.2 million people, and the lawyer I had never met is asking after my mother, as well as whether I'd actually seen Fred.

Then she got two other people in, and in their presence had me confirm that I had read and understood the will. I initialled every page, and then signed. They signed as witnesses. I have two copies, and the original has now been stapled together and, I am told, is not to be unstapled.

The original of the will is at the offices of Sonnenfeld and Richman, here in Manhattan. One copy is here at my house; another is going to adrian_turtle, who is my backup executor.

I was feeling somewhat tired and stressed this evening, and I don't know whether it's travel, doing this particular grown-up thing, the long workday that it led to (same number of hours of work, but getting out a bit later than a 9:15 arrival normally means, because I took a slightly long lunch to do the legal stuff), or something else. After I turned the thermostat up Saturday evening, climbed under the duvet, and then asked to borrow a pair of pajamas, Adrian suggested I might be coming down with something.

Comments

[mjlayman.livejournal.com]

Good job getting all that done! I hope you're not getting sick.

[webbob.livejournal.com]

Additional intimations of mortality are generally tiring, I think, and definitely stressful.

So far as last Saturday in Arlington is concerned, it seemed to me to be the kind of cold damp weather that makes people prone to feeling cold feel even colder than usual, at least over here in West Medford. I was not in the best position to judge, since I spent most of the afternoon moving lumber and helping sweep up animal faeces in our barn and was therefore in a different state of thermal homeostasis than usual, but you weren't the only person I know who was feeling particularly cold that evening.

[redbird]

Thanks. It was that sort of day.

[adrian-turtle.livejournal.com]

>She also asked after my mother's health, and asked that I send her regards.
>I live in a city of 8.2 million people, and the lawyer I
>had never met is asking after my mother, as well as whether I'd actually
>seen Fred.

She's never met you, but has she met your mother? This lawyer works with Fred, and Fred has been your mother's lawyer for a long time.

I still occasionally run into people who recognize my family name on first meeting me, and send their regards to my father's cousin David, on the assumption that he is my father. Or at least on the assumption that we are the sort of relatives who know each other. This happens less often, now that he's been living in California for the last 10 years. (He left the Boston area the same year I moved here, but we never actually met.)

This seems to have been a day for putting away such documents. I gave a copy of my health care proxy to my GP. I'm not sure if you'd like to do something like that, but I thought it would be more useful there than in a box in my apartment. As I told you earlier, my doctor thinks I'm incredibly lucky to have such a great chosen family.

[redbird]

It is entirely explicably that the lawyer asked after Mom, and I was amused, thinking about it afterwards.

What I have here isn't the urban anonymity so many people talk about, it's the connections and neighborhoods of Jane Jacobs's New York, not quite gone, or maybe restored. I could have had the anonymity: there are a lot of law firms in New York, and I didn't have to get Fred to make my will. I don't have to buy my chocolate from a nice man in the Village who remembers people and what they like, and therefore asks after roadnotes when I go in alone. Etc.

I may give a copy of the proxy to my GP, though you see yours rather more often than I see mine. (I have three signed originals, so I have one to spare. Since my proxy lives here, it makes sense for me to keep one in the apartment, and if I need to go to a hospital from here, we'll take it with us.)

[ashbet]

*squish* Hope you're feeling better today.

Dealing with wills and proxies really is draining, because it forces you to confront a lot of things that we usually successfully repress/ignore. Plus, paperwork = generally hateful.

Hopefully the cozy rest did you some good!

-- A <3

[amaebi.livejournal.com]

Oh, man, we've got to do that.... The will thing, that is.

[redbird]

Moreso than I do, I think (because of Chun Woo).

I hope I can be a good example, without anything messy having to happen.