for further cogitation

I wrote this in response to something in nadinelet's journal, and the last bit is something I need to think about more, so I'm putting it here as a reminder and in case anyone has something to add:

I don't exactly perform gender, in a deliberate sense. But I don't take it as seriously as a lot of people do--I do a bunch of things, and somehow that combination of what I do and how I look is generally labeled "female" and people seem happy to use that label. I think a lot of that labeling is based on the physical (height, breast size, voice) and a lack of anything that conflicts with said physicality. I've passed for male online, without meaning to--back in the 1980s in contexts that were 80 or 90 percent male, using a non-gendered nickname--and assume I could do so again, were there a reason.

And now I'm thinking that this connects to performing certain family roles. I want to cogitate about this, which means I'm copying this comment into my own journal.

The roles I have trouble performing aren't, or aren't just, gender: they're anything that includes keeping quiet for reasons of status/power/relative position. I more or less know, by now, that people who ask for "any questions" don't always mean it--but I blurt them out anyway. That ties into cultural female roles, but in a hierarchical organization, most people are expected to perform subordinate at least part of the time.

Edited to add: Yes, what I'm describing is probably fairly close--certainly in actions and some aspects of appearance--to someone who really does believe strongly in gender. The differences range from the subtle and purely internal to a few practical things. For example, arguments that I should do/not do something because it's "unfeminine" or "what real women do" are almost certain to fail. Depending on how they're phrased, they will probably draw confusion, a blank stare, anger, or amusement.

for further cogitation

I wrote this in response to something in nadinelet's journal, and the last bit is something I need to think about more, so I'm putting it here as a reminder and in case anyone has something to add:

I don't exactly perform gender, in a deliberate sense. But I don't take it as seriously as a lot of people do--I do a bunch of things, and somehow that combination of what I do and how I look is generally labeled "female" and people seem happy to use that label. I think a lot of that labeling is based on the physical (height, breast size, voice) and a lack of anything that conflicts with said physicality. I've passed for male online, without meaning to--back in the 1980s in contexts that were 80 or 90 percent male, using a non-gendered nickname--and assume I could do so again, were there a reason.

And now I'm thinking that this connects to performing certain family roles. I want to cogitate about this, which means I'm copying this comment into my own journal.

The roles I have trouble performing aren't, or aren't just, gender: they're anything that includes keeping quiet for reasons of status/power/relative position. I more or less know, by now, that people who ask for "any questions" don't always mean it--but I blurt them out anyway. That ties into cultural female roles, but in a hierarchical organization, most people are expected to perform subordinate at least part of the time.

Edited to add: Yes, what I'm describing is probably fairly close--certainly in actions and some aspects of appearance--to someone who really does believe strongly in gender. The differences range from the subtle and purely internal to a few practical things. For example, arguments that I should do/not do something because it's "unfeminine" or "what real women do" are almost certain to fail. Depending on how they're phrased, they will probably draw confusion, a blank stare, anger, or amusement.

Created that community

Okay, we have a community for answers in search of questions. Having given up on good/obvious names, it's at 42answers.

Created that community

Okay, we have a community for answers in search of questions. Having given up on good/obvious names, it's at 42answers.

Clean bill of health

I have had another chest X-ray, and then the doctor listened to me breathe, and confirms that the pneumonia is gone. I am well.

I am still a little tired, and have menstrual cramps, so instead of going to the gym I'm going to change into shorts and go sit in the park (it's 79F/26C right now).

I also have apples, onions, melon, a red bell pepper, scallions, and challah, all picked up on the way home.

Clean bill of health

I have had another chest X-ray, and then the doctor listened to me breathe, and confirms that the pneumonia is gone. I am well.

I am still a little tired, and have menstrual cramps, so instead of going to the gym I'm going to change into shorts and go sit in the park (it's 79F/26C right now).

I also have apples, onions, melon, a red bell pepper, scallions, and challah, all picked up on the way home.

I should do this more often

Since it was warm and sunny, I changed into shorts and went into the park with a pack containing a book, some short stories, water, the usual.

I found a pleasant shady spot and did what I think of as my mat exercises: crunches and back arches (4 sets of 15 on each), and the yoga "tree". This meant plenty of time staring up into an endless pale blue, watching orange leaves drift down, and birds fly past, and one tiny insect floating near me.

Much better than doing the same at the gym, although mats are nice. But the weather conditions are seldom right for this.

I should do this more often

Since it was warm and sunny, I changed into shorts and went into the park with a pack containing a book, some short stories, water, the usual.

I found a pleasant shady spot and did what I think of as my mat exercises: crunches and back arches (4 sets of 15 on each), and the yoga "tree". This meant plenty of time staring up into an endless pale blue, watching orange leaves drift down, and birds fly past, and one tiny insect floating near me.

Much better than doing the same at the gym, although mats are nice. But the weather conditions are seldom right for this.