I now have--according to my ever-loving blue-eyed Cat--short, elegant fur.
I got Andy to hold my hand, and went to the place TNH recommended. The hairdresser asked what I wanted, and I told her I wanted it short and professional-looking, and asked her advice.
The resulting cut curls under, a little bit; maintaining that effect means I need to get a hairdryer. I already got a new hairbrush, but that was easier to choose, given what she'd told me. Without blow-drying, it comes out fluffier, cuter, and not as businesslike. Also, I think, not as attractive: I won't frighten any children, but that's a minimal standard.
We discussed, and eventually decided against, a blonde rinse; the white/gray is more noticeable than with long hair, and looks better than Denise had expected.
Now, I, and Andy, and my friends, just need to get used to this. I had a short haircut for a few months back in 1981, then grew it out again. It's a different image, a different feel, and different habits: no choosing a color of ponytail holder, no flipping the braid out of the way when I do crunches and bench-presses at the gym, no longer automatically ruling out any blouse with a button at the back.
Andy took before-and-after pictures: "before" in Madison Square Park, after in our living room, just now.
(This post was filed as private until I got a chance to surprise a friend or three with the new look; you didn't miss it the first time around.)