Company, food, and family

[redbird]

adrian_turtle came to visit me for the weekend, and to go with me to my aunt's seder. It was very good to have Adrian here, and spend a few mostly quiet days together cattitude was at Minicon).


The timing and reason for the trip meant that the last few days have been as close to observing Passover as I have in many years. I'm not at all observant or religious, but I'm fairly sure it would have made Adrian uncomfortable if I'd put bread or rice or noodles on the table as part of our meal while she was here and following Passover rules. (Me eating butter when she can't feels different, to both of us.) On the other hand, I did get a flaky pastry at the Greenmarket for my second breakfast on Saturday (after checking in with her), and I didn't throw away or even put aside the rice and pasta and crackers. I took Adrian to the bus terminal this morning, went to the gym, and then got shrimp with lobster sauce for lunch. I decided bread could wait, I wanted rice now.

We didn't go hungry, and most of what we ate was within my normal range, though a person can get awfully tired of matzoh and butter. It's the cumulative effect. Lunch yesterday was a sweet potato and apple fritatta, and supper was lamb patties, sauteed mushrooms, and a green salad. With leftover flourless chocolate torte for dessert. Both were entirely reasonable meals, but any other week of the year I would have made basmati rice to go with the lamb.

The seder itself was downright cozy: my aunt and her husband, my cousin Janet (who led the seder, as usual), my aunt's neighbor Mimi, and me and Adrian. Good conversation on all sorts of topics, from theatre to catching up on family news. The usual Maxwell House haggadah, and all the food catered except the charoses (made by Lea and Dave for the first time, because my aunt Ruth, who usually does it, wasn't feeling well enough to join us) and the chocolate dessert I made.

The dessert is Passover-suitable because it contains no grain whatsoever: eggs, chocolate, sugar, margarine, cocoa powder, and orange extract. It's a good thing I started baking relatively early on Saturday, because I somehow got confused and left the eggs out, so had to throw it away and start over. The second time through, after measuring the solids, I put all the ingredients in visible bowls; the first time I'd left the eggs in the carton on the counter, and then overlooked them. It's probably closer to fudge than cake, despite being baked in the oven in a pie plate (mrissa, that's what I meant by saying "not exactly a torte" in email the other day). Recipe available on request.

A week or so ago, I was talking to my mother on IM, and she mentioned, not for the first time, that she hadn't told Lea that Adrian is "more than a friend," because she figures that's my decision. I told her that it was fine for her to tell, or not to. The day before the seder, I dithered about whether to wear the necklace Adrian gave me, a love/relationship token in the form of Hebrew letters ("I am my beloved's, and my beloved is mine," from the Song of Songs). Dithered, I think, because "this isn't a secret" doesn't map to "I feel like having that conversation right now." I decided that the pendant would feel comforting, and that if anyone noticed it and asked questions, I would answer them. Nobody did, but in the course of the afternoon's conversation, I mentioned having filled out a HIPAA form authorizing either Andy or Adrian to call on my behalf. Adrian put a comforting hand on my back for a moment, and said "We take care of you," and I said that they do it well. If anyone was surprised, they didn't show it. Between that and my having addressed Adrian as "love" without thinking (something like "here you go, love" in handing her a bowl of matzoh ball soup), anyone there who still doesn't realize Adrian is my sweetheart is making an effort. As Adrian says, my aunt and cousin are intelligent women with some experience of the world. (I wouldn't be at all surprised if they talked about this after Adrian and I left: but I also wouldn't be surprised if it had been something like "I thought so" or "Now we don't have to pretend we don't know." And Lea's friend Mimi may not even know Andy exists, which would make my having a girlfriend much less startling.)

It's not that I needed everyone to know the shape of the relationship: what matters is that the relatives I like know she's important to me, and Lea likes her and invites her back. But keeping secrets takes energy and attention. I addressed Adrian as "love" when passing the soup because I often call her that, not because I decided to or was saying something it was particularly relevant to.

Some unrelated notes from today: I stopped at a random Starbucks for tea after dropping Adrian off at the bus station. The woman took my order, and a moment later came back and asked if she should leave room for cream. I said yes, thank you, and she told me that she always asks when she hears a British accent. I said "British accent?" and in response to her "Well, foreign" told her I'd been born and raised right here in New York, and thanked her because the important point was that I was getting what I wanted, namely tea with a bit of room in the cup for milk.

After doing the rest of my workout at the gym today, I hunted around, found a two-pound dumbbell, and did my elbow PT exercises. It was a lot easier using a weight that fit my hand neatly, instead of a water bottle. (I also suspect that the dumbbell was less than two pounds, based on how it felt, but since I've been using one pound at the PT office, it's not a problem. (I didn't see any weights labeled as less than 2 pounds.)

Coming home along 207th Street this afternoon, I noticed that enough of the lilac is in bloom that I can stand under it and enjoy the scent. At the base of the lilac, there are a few late forsythia flowers. It has been a ridiculously long forsythia season.

The usual gym numbers
Cardio, 15 minutes, top heart rate 152
Rolled out IT band etc.
Hamstring bridge, 4 sets of 9
Ab work on large ball, 3 sets of 10
Psoas exercise, 3 with each leg up
Squats leaning on small ball, 3 sets of 15
Calf raises leaning on small ball, 3 sets of 15

Opposite arm/leg balance exercise, 9 pairs
Some standing on foam roller, including a little with eyes closed and one bit on just the right foot (didn't try left)
Lunges, 2 sets of {10 with each foot forward}

Standing on balance platform:
Lat pulldown, 65 pounds, 2 sets of 12; 55 pounds, 12 on each foot
"Hug a tree," 25 pounds, 2 sets of 12
Back exercise, 35 pounds, 3 sets of 12
Triceps exercise, 27.5 pounds, 3 sets of 12

Row sitting on ball, 40 pounds, 12; 35 pounds, 12
Glute machine, 42.5 pounds, 2 sets of {12 with each foot}
(Elbow PT with two-pound dumbbell, 2 sets of 10 on each exercise)
Stretches