More on traveling to England

[redbird]

Sometime in the next few days, I will be flying to London for a funeral—my mother's husband has maybe a day or two to live—mostly to provide my mother emotional support*. I may also be looking to see people in the afternoon or evening, but I won't know until I get there, and may be working on an hour or two's notice. Mom she said she'll definitely want company in the mornings, but there will be other people around later in the day, including his kids and their spouses, some cousins they're close to, and people from the synagogue. I don't know yet when I'm getting to London, nor when I'm leaving, but the total time is likely to be four or five days. I'll be staying in Finchley.

It turns out that, while Gatwick might be preferable in terms of where my mother lives, there are no nonstop flights from New York (JFK or EWR) to Gatwick, and there are to Heathrow. So Heathrow it is.

It also appears that, right now, for flights in the next few days, BMI is a couple of hundred dollars cheaper than any other airline. Is there any reason I shouldn't fly BMI? (In this case, BMI is "formerly known as British Midland," not a music company.)

*I say "my mother's husband" rather than "my stepfather" because they didn't even meet until I had finished college, and I have never lived in the same country as he did; he wasn't in a parental role for me. So, while I won't be looking for a party, food and conversation might be welcome.

Comments

[oursin]

I don't think I've ever flown long-distance on BMI, but I've found them acceptable for European excursions.

May possibly see you next week? - Finchley is a few stops up the Northern line from us.

[liv]

I'm better at giving helpful practical explanations about travel than I am at expressing sympathy and emotional support, but if I had good words I'd be saying them. It sounds like you have a lot of contacts much closer to Finchley than I am, so it doesn't really make sense to try to arrange to meet up. Good luck with the trip, anyway.

[redbird]

That seems plausible. Do I reach you by email, or can you send me a phone number? vr @ redbird . org works.

[redbird]

Probably not, though I think you'd be good, soothing company if you were in town or it otherwise made sense.

[liv]

If sometime in the next few days includes this coming Sunday, then I'm likely to be around, probably about 40 minutes from Finchley at a guess. If that does happen, and a cup of tea and some conversation seems appealing, call me 07817 740432

[baratron.livejournal.com]

I don't know how to phrase prospective sympathy - I hope that the end will not be too painful and that your mother will be able to find solace in her friends and family?

I don't check my personal email often enough to be useful in making plans, but my phone number is linked in this post (http://baratron.livejournal.com/330176.html). Also if it's Tuesday, Wednesday or Friday, I'll probably be at college, which means I'll be checking my work email every hour or so - helenlouise.surname@gmail.com where "surname" is replaced with my legal surname as referenced in that post :) This weekend I am likely to be free on Saturday and busy on Sunday, but that's busy with my friends who I see every weekend - I'm sure we can miss a week in honour of a visitor from the US.

[kalimac.livejournal.com]

My sympathies.

If you're staying in Finchley, there'd be no particular advantage in coming in to Gatwick over Heathrow. If you're not carrying heavy luggage, you can just take the Tube in.

[elusis.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry things are difficult for you and your family right now. That is a great deal to juggle. I'm glad you can find a way to be with your mother.

[fjm.livejournal.com]

I can't guarantee to be free, but my number is 077 99 77 1309.

BMI is fine.

[maviscruet.livejournal.com]

I hope it goes as well as it could - I'm not London based but I will be in the area on Saturday looking at museums if that is any help?

[bohemiancoast.livejournal.com]

Gatwick is undoubtedly worse for Finchley than Heathrow, as well as being a awful hellpit of an airport. We always use the tube to get home from Heathrow, but it is obviously quicker (and more expensive) to use the Heathrow Express.

We'd love to see you if you fancy coming round for a meal; socialising in town is a bit hard for us at the moment though.

[purplecthulhu.livejournal.com]

I'll potentially be around. Let me know dates when they're clear and we can perhaps sort something out.

And prospective condolences to all that need them!

[annafdd.livejournal.com]

I live reasonably close to Finchley, my number is 07722134778. You'll want to focus on your mom right now, but if you need or fancy company I'm here. Also, should you arrange a multiple-fan meet, I'm also here.

Hugs to your mom.

[dichroic.livejournal.com]

That's rough. I'm glad you will be able to be there for your mom; hope the logistics will work out as painlessly as possible.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

You have spoken well of him as a spouse to your mother if not as a parent to you, and I am sorry for your loss and especially sorry for your mom's. I hope your trip is as good as possible under the circumstances.

[roadnotes.livejournal.com]

Please extend my condolences to your mother.

[papersky.livejournal.com]

BMI have awful food, but they're no worse than Air Canada or BA. If you can't fly KLM, they're all the same.

Do give your mother my sympathies if that would be appropriate. I'm really glad you're going, she'll need you. In my experience of other people's grief, all you can probably do now is be there and offer hugs and cups of tea as needed. But suggest that in about a month or six weeks she come to you, or even better that the two of you go somewhere else, since she goes to NYC fairly often and it might not work. Going right away somewhere out of the routine can draw a useful line under it, especially in situations like this where someone has been a caregiver for a long time.

*hugs* It's bound to be hard for you too. I do hope you have time to see friends while you're there.

[mjlayman.livejournal.com]

It's very nice of you to go help your mother.

[pameladean]

I'm sorry your mother will be grieving. I hope that you will get to see a little bit of London.

P.

[womzilla.livejournal.com]

I am very sorry for the loss to your family.

[carbonel]

If you haven't bought your ticket already, it may be worth looking into bereavement fares. They're usually 50% of the full fare, which (in my experience) makes them comparable to more standard discount-type nonrefundable fares. The advantage is that they're considerably more flexible; you can change the return date without any additional charge.

The way to do it is to call the airline and ask a real human about bereavement fares.

[redbird]

There don't seem to be a lot of international bereavement fares. Also, in this very specific circumstance, the flexibility is less important for me. But yes, I may make a few calls to American, BA, anyone else who is doing nonstop New York to London.