redbird: closeup of me drinking tea, in a friend's kitchen (Default)
Redbird ([personal profile] redbird) wrote2005-05-05 10:40 pm
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It's hard for me to entirely get past the belief that I can fix my friends' problems, if I could only think of the right answer--even when I know better, because the problem is outside my scope (e.g., most medical things) or not something that one person can solve.

This despite knowing that I can't fix all of my own problems, nor can my friends fix them for me: there's a part of me that believes that not only can I offer a cup of tea and an ear, but that those will be enough.

I suppose the positive side of this is that I'm feeling enough better, physically, to have more energy to think about things other than my lungs.
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[identity profile] purpletigron.livejournal.com 2005-05-06 05:27 am (UTC)(link)
Energy is good.

I'm currently wearing myself out trying to fix all of Mater's problems :-(

[identity profile] crazysoph.livejournal.com 2005-05-06 06:11 am (UTC)(link)
Sometimes, and as I'm getting more acquainted with my own personal agendas (agendae??), I even prefer the quiet listener serving up serial cups of tea. It's taken years, but we finally have [livejournal.com profile] dear_hubby not rushing in to "fix" or offer solutions, when all I needed was to vent and analyse a problem.

But the other side of the coin, knowing not to keep fixing, remaining with the ear and the receptive-yet-wise (as much so as one owns) attitude... sometimes, that's the toughest job! Good for you on the realization that it can be enough.

Crazy(and often not wise)Soph

PS more healing vibes for the lungs...

[identity profile] adrian-turtle.livejournal.com 2005-05-06 05:50 pm (UTC)(link)
I appreciate you trying. Just thinking of my own problems, which are pretty well outside my own scope as well. Thanks. *hug*

Fixing

[identity profile] nwl.livejournal.com 2005-05-06 06:32 pm (UTC)(link)
It's hard for me to entirely get past the belief that I can fix my friends' problems, if I could only think of the right answer

I hear you. In the latest case, a friend a spiritual problem. I think I'd almost rather deal with a medical problem - you can research it on the web. When it comes to a crisis of faith, it's pretty much just the cup of tea and an ear route. It does help them, although I do find myself gritting my teeth on hearing the same story over and over.
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