redbird: closeup of me drinking tea, in a friend's kitchen (Default)
Redbird ([personal profile] redbird) wrote2020-11-08 05:48 pm

Weird emotional state

I am simultaneously pleased and relieved that Biden and Harris won, sad because my aunt just died, and just plain drained, like so many of us.

The last two days, chez [personal profile] redbird:

I've been keeping an eye on the Resistance Labs text-banking Slack, even after the election. This led to me sending a couple of thousand texts at lunchtime Friday inviting people to "Count All the Votes" rallies the next day. I also signed up to go to the one in Boston.

I was already planning to spend the weekend with [personal profile] adrian_turtle; when I told her I was going to be at Copley Square Saturday morning, she said "I'll come with you. So that part was all right.

Shortly after I got to Adrian's on Friday, I saw email from my cousin Anne that her mother, my aunt Lea, had died. This wasn't exactly a surprise, but as one of my other relatives said, she had been hoping for a miracle. [I posted briefly about this on Friday, by email, which means it was access-only until I got a chance to edit it this afternoon.]

Saturday morning we took the T to Copley Square; this was the second time I'd been on a subway train since March, and the first time Adrian had.

There were only a few hundred people at the rally, which made it feel more important that Adrian, [personal profile] cattitude, and I were there. We were sort-of listening to a speech when someone came over to us and told us that Biden had won Pennsylvania. A bit after that, another stranger said that Fox had called the election for Biden. Then the church bells started ringing, and the three of us decided we didn't need to stay in Copley Square but could go look for lunch.

A bit after lunch, I was sitting on Adrian's couch, reading, when I started feeling cold, and then realized that I was shaking. I went over to where Adrian was sitting, asked her to hug me, and then started to weep, while still shaking.

A bit of time, letting the tears out, and good dark chocolate helped settle my mood. I'm still waiting for word on whether there's going to be a Zoom funeral, or what, and if so when. The people who'd want to attend span at least eight time zones, from London to Las Vegas.

Oh, and my birthday is in a couple of days. I had no major plans, but still.
anne: (Default)

[personal profile] anne 2020-11-08 11:58 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm sorry for your loss. And... thank you for textbanking.
threeringedmoon: (Default)

[personal profile] threeringedmoon 2020-11-09 12:05 am (UTC)(link)
(((virtual air hugs)))

I am so sorry, [personal profile] redbird
readerjane: Book Cat (Default)

[personal profile] readerjane 2020-11-09 12:06 am (UTC)(link)
My birthday is this week too, which means I had a really awful birthday in 2016. I hope yours, like mine, is much more hopeful this year.
dewline: Text - "On the DEWLine" (Default)

[personal profile] dewline 2020-11-09 12:10 am (UTC)(link)
I grieve with you. Your aunt was a stranger to me, but so what?

I celebrate with and give thanks to you because Biden. You helped make that happen.
minoanmiss: Theran girl gathering saffron (Saffron-Gatherer)

[personal profile] minoanmiss 2020-11-09 01:05 am (UTC)(link)
*hugs you very gently*
therealsnape: (Default)

[personal profile] therealsnape 2020-11-09 08:02 am (UTC)(link)
What a rollercoaster of a week you've had! I wish you strength with whatever arrangements are made for your aunt's funeral. I'm so sorry you can't just go like you'd want to, in these awful times.

Lots of hugs, and I hope your birthday will be a good day.
oursin: Beatrix Potter's Mrs Tiggywinkle, wearing an apron, clasping her paws, and looking upwards (Mrs Tiggywinkle)

[personal profile] oursin 2020-11-09 10:02 am (UTC)(link)
I'm sorry for your loss. Sympathies to you and your family.
cmcmck: (Default)

[personal profile] cmcmck 2020-11-09 10:08 am (UTC)(link)
Post traumatic stress- it's a real thing.

Hugs