The real point of my post is not to assume that someone is "broken" just because they behave in ways you don't like or don't understand. —Miche, posting on alt.poly
Some people are crazy, and some people are dangerous, and some people I should try to avoid for my own peace of mind. Those are three different groups. There's some overlap, but they are three different groups.
Yes, very much so. Someone might have a rational goal, and go about it in a way that makes them dangerous: wanting to reduce disease incidence, they dump pesticides into a lake to reduce mosquitos, without knowing that the lake is a town's drinking water. Or someone can be harmlessly crazy: consider the number of people who believe in astrology.
I think the big thing is that when folks "behave in a way I don't like", they generally are broken, largely because I don't offend easy and it takes something pretty bad to get me truly riled. :)
One non-broken place where people's preferences vary a lot is introversion/extroversion. There are people who find it unpleasant, possibly to the point of seeing it as rude, if someone doesn't want to talk to them. There are others who find it unpleasant and possibly rude if people insist on talking to them. There is obvious potential for discomfort and even dislike if one of each type find themselves in the same place, and the social context neither channels and requires conversation--even if it's as formalized as "Hello, I'm here to see Dr. X" or "That's $3.50"--nor completely forbids conversational approaches from strangers and casual acquaintances. (Friends are more likely to know when the approach is welcome, and it's more likely to be welcome from a friend, especially if the person approached is an introvert.)
There's a difference between "a way I don't like" and "a way I think is unacceptable"; it's worth reminding myself of that sometimes. For that matter, there's a difference between "you really shouldn't do that" and "you shouldn't do that, and knew you shouldn't, and there's something badly wrong that you did it." (There are people who, told a person has medical problem X, will start talking about a friend or relative who had the same problem, and for whom things went very badly, instead of offering sympathy or help, or even saying "I'm sorry, that happened to my great-uncle Maurice, I know it can be difficult." Some of them probably know better and take a sick pleasure in it; some probably know better, but don't stop to think, or are doing so not because they want you to think about bad prognoses but because they tend to talk about themselves; and some have never thought about, or been told, that this is not a suitable response. The last becomes less plausible--and thus the action less forgiveable--as we grow older. But I can conclude "he's unsympathetic, I won't tell him my troubles" without concluding that someone is broken.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Yes, very much so. Someone might have a rational goal, and go about it in a way that makes them dangerous: wanting to reduce disease incidence, they dump pesticides into a lake to reduce mosquitos, without knowing that the lake is a town's drinking water. Or someone can be harmlessly crazy: consider the number of people who believe in astrology.
no subject
no subject
There's a difference between "a way I don't like" and "a way I think is unacceptable"; it's worth reminding myself of that sometimes. For that matter, there's a difference between "you really shouldn't do that" and "you shouldn't do that, and knew you shouldn't, and there's something badly wrong that you did it." (There are people who, told a person has medical problem X, will start talking about a friend or relative who had the same problem, and for whom things went very badly, instead of offering sympathy or help, or even saying "I'm sorry, that happened to my great-uncle Maurice, I know it can be difficult." Some of them probably know better and take a sick pleasure in it; some probably know better, but don't stop to think, or are doing so not because they want you to think about bad prognoses but because they tend to talk about themselves; and some have never thought about, or been told, that this is not a suitable response. The last becomes less plausible--and thus the action less forgiveable--as we grow older. But I can conclude "he's unsympathetic, I won't tell him my troubles" without concluding that someone is broken.