Giving myself the credit I deserve

[redbird]

eleanor posted about overhearing a conversation between two men, the second of whom said that he considered himself a big reader too, but didn't read much. I commented with what still seems to me like the most likely interpretation, and she told me I was being incredibly generous.

I get comments by email, and when I read that email I started saying "I'm not trying to be generous," and then realized that the thought behind that sentence was that I shouldn't be taking credit for generosity.

Not because generosity wasn't my aim (my aim was understanding, maybe empathy, not generosity to a stranger who'll never see this discussion), but because I somehow felt I shouldn't give myself credit for being generous, because I don't think of myself as unusually so. Like not self-identifying as sensible, despite numerous friends telling me I am.

I think this connects to discussions, both in person with rysmiel and on pegkerr's journal, about being the person I want to be, the best Vicki I know how to be. The person I want to be is sensible (though sometimes silly), is generous within what I can afford (which is as much a matter of priorities as quantity), and understands the world around her. In that light, I'm glad to be getting to where I want to be.