i think that i mean something other by "ignore" than a lot of people.
i am, btw, not blaming the victims here; i realize he is an arse and will follow some people around. but i also think that one can ignore such people anyway, and pretty much eliminate any impact they have on one's life. (i am talking about people like orlando, not actual stalkers. orlando, no matter how much of an entitled twit, isn't presenting a real threat to anyone.)
when i say i ignore somebody i don't just mean i hope quietly that they won't contact me again. orlando hasn't, but there have been kooks and trolls from news.groups who used to be as much of a pest as he is (or worse; at least he doesn't make death threats). when i ignore somebody, i'll killfile them, i don't reply to their email or posts, i'll page past other people's inclusions of their posts (here's where i find it somewhat annoying when a group doesn't stop engaging with a troll), and i will not even read anything from them that might reach me -- if they're particular twits, i will direct their email to /dev/null (i did that with some people last time i tried to reconnect with alt.poly, and since orlando is one of them, i have no idea whether he might have contacted me again). i also don't refer to them in other posts, or on my LJ. if i find myself ranting about them, i will stop myself and channel the rant into something else. i ignore them wholly and entirely. even if they don't ignore me.
because talking about how much they irk me isn't ignoring. it feeds the attention grab. even if they don't know it, it feeds it because they take my time away and use it up for their idiotic crap. and that is what i am stopping when i truly ignore somebody.
ignoring them is something _i_ do regardless of whether they kindly go away immediately. pretty much by definition people i end up ignoring are people who don't go away easily. but when i act as if they don't exist, i feel freed from their presence. and doing this in the long run will IME stop their pursuit because it doesn't pay off. it's been a long time now since i've had threatening emails from some of my "favourite" kooks.
Re: Annoying e-mail
i am, btw, not blaming the victims here; i realize he is an arse and will follow some people around. but i also think that one can ignore such people anyway, and pretty much eliminate any impact they have on one's life. (i am talking about people like orlando, not actual stalkers. orlando, no matter how much of an entitled twit, isn't presenting a real threat to anyone.)
when i say i ignore somebody i don't just mean i hope quietly that they won't contact me again. orlando hasn't, but there have been kooks and trolls from news.groups who used to be as much of a pest as he is (or worse; at least he doesn't make death threats). when i ignore somebody, i'll killfile them, i don't reply to their email or posts, i'll page past other people's inclusions of their posts (here's where i find it somewhat annoying when a group doesn't stop engaging with a troll), and i will not even read anything from them that might reach me -- if they're particular twits, i will direct their email to /dev/null (i did that with some people last time i tried to reconnect with alt.poly, and since orlando is one of them, i have no idea whether he might have contacted me again). i also don't refer to them in other posts, or on my LJ. if i find myself ranting about them, i will stop myself and channel the rant into something else. i ignore them wholly and entirely. even if they don't ignore me.
because talking about how much they irk me isn't ignoring. it feeds the attention grab. even if they don't know it, it feeds it because they take my time away and use it up for their idiotic crap. and that is what i am stopping when i truly ignore somebody.
ignoring them is something _i_ do regardless of whether they kindly go away immediately. pretty much by definition people i end up ignoring are people who don't go away easily. but when i act as if they don't exist, i feel freed from their presence. and doing this in the long run will IME stop their pursuit because it doesn't pay off. it's been a long time now since i've had threatening emails from some of my "favourite" kooks.